


3 Months

by Jedi Kay (trxgicbeauty), trxgicbeauty



Category: Star Wars, Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe, Knight Obi-Wan, M/M, Prince Anakin, royal au
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-21
Updated: 2016-05-24
Packaged: 2018-06-03 13:53:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 31,866
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6613177
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/trxgicbeauty/pseuds/Jedi%20Kay, https://archiveofourown.org/users/trxgicbeauty/pseuds/trxgicbeauty
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Anakin is the Prince of Elodor and has a very bad attitude so he's sent to be straightened out on a Knight military base under the command of Obi-Wan Kenobi.</p><p>Or, the one where Anakin and Obi-Wan messily fall in love despite everything else.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Part One

**Author's Note:**

> This part is a lot of background about Anakin and the alternate universe in general, next part will be some exciting stuff, I promise.

Elodor was one of the biggest kingdoms the world had ever seen.  It’s citizens bragged about the strength it held and all the potential it contained to become even greater than imaginable.  Elodor was run by King Cliegg and Queen Shmi who ruled the kingdom with justice and wisdom, keeping their people safe from savage outsiders that wished to destroy the peace they had maintained for many years.

Shmi had a son - one who was blessed upon her before she became Cliegg’s wife and the Queen of Elodor.  Anakin was the great prince of the land, notorious for his cunning charm and disruptive behavior.  The ladies swooned when he walked amongst the villages and the men stared enviously.  Regardless of his looks, most were weary of the future when he would take the throne.  Anakin was a lot of things - good and bad - but a rational, responsible leader was not one of them.

Anakin, on the other hand, never had the desire to rule Elodor, nor did he ever have an interest in politics.  But when his mother married Cliegg, the man next in line for the throne, deep down he always knew it would come to this, especially since he was the only child of the two.

However, he believed he was completely capable to handle the responsibility of the kingdom whether the people thought so or not.  Sure, they liked to shed light on some of his not-so-good decisions, but what could he say?  He was an attractive, talented, twenty-two year old with the world at his fingertips.  If he accidently ruined several banquets by upsetting foreign ambassadors with his sarcasm, how was that his fault?  After all, if someone can’t understand sarcasm, should they  _ really  _ be responsible for a large group of people?

Shmi spent a lot of time defending his behavior to Cliegg, trying to explain all the stuff he already knew.  Anakin and Shmi weren’t brought into the royal family until Anakin was ten years old.  Before that, they had been very poor peasants trying to make their way in Elodor without starving.  Because of that, Anakin grew bitter of the entire system for not helping the people in need.  Shmi vowed that when her and Cliegg became King and Queen, they would help everyone at the bottom of the poverty level, as her and Anakin once were.  But regardless of what they did, it never seemed enough for Anakin.  He couldn’t get over the things they had seen on the streets together or the entire fakeness of the political system in general.

He had sat in on very important meetings with very important people before, where they all discussed actions that they wanted to take to help improve the wellbeing of Elodor’s people.  But all he could see was a bunch of political figures who didn’t have the passion for the people - all they cared for was increasing their own wealth and only doing things that benefitted themselves.

Anakin agreed he could be slightly arrogant about his skills but at least he put the people before himself.  Sometimes he wished that he could have made a life for him and Shmi without getting mixed up into the royal family but that was something he could no longer dwell on.  He learned to adjust to the lifestyle at a young age, but still wondered where they would be if it weren’t for them falling in love.

Padme walked next to him throughout the palace garden, her hair pulled back into an intricate braid and her lilac daytime dress dragged lightly against the plush grass.

“Wait, wait, explain to me what Cleigg said to you this morning?” she inquired.

Anakin clenched his jaw, trying to try and hide his anger over the conversation him and his stepfather had at breakfast.  “He said that he’s sending me away after this week.  I have no say in it  _ even though technically I’m a grown fucking man,”  _ he huffed, picking up a rock and throwing it as far as he could.

“Oh Ani, where is he sending you and why?”

“You know the country out near Lake Cascada?” Padme nodded her head, her face showed she was listening intently to her best friend. “That’s where the majority of Elodor’s Knights train.  It’s some type of...military base. And I’m being sent there to learn how to ‘become responsible for my actions and learn how to control my attitude’.  It’s all to make me the picture-perfect future king.”

“Lake Cascada is beautiful.”

Anakin rolled his eyes.  “Padme, that’s not the point.”

“I know, I’m just trying to offer a silver lining.  You’ve always been against the whole king thing - but how many people get this opportunity?  You’re always talking about how you want to help and protect people, I would say being the king of a kingdom is a pretty good way to do it.”

“Being a King is a lot more on the political side of things, Padme.  That’s your thing.”

“Well then, maybe you’ll just have to marry me and I’ll take care of that type of thing.”

Anakin and Padme had talked about this subject many times before.  They had been best friends ever since they met at the big royal wedding of Shmi and Cliegg.  After that, Anakin dragged her into every bad idea he formed and copied most of her course work throughout their studies.  Many thought they would fall in love simply because of how close their bond was, they were inseparable and everyone knew it.  But Padme knew what everyone else didn’t; Anakin wasn’t interested in girls.  It was such an unheard of thing, especially in the position he was in.  A gay prince?  It sounded like a complete joke and Anakin knew that, almost ashamed of it, even.  So when people asked Anakin and Padme if they were in love, the answer was always yes.  Yes, they were in love.  Yes, they would someday marry.  Yes, Padme would make a beautiful queen.

He couldn’t have been more relieved to have someone as supportive as her in his life.  She never once questioned him, in fact, she even edged him on.  During their studies, she would point out the cute guys in their classes, constantly suggesting for him to strike up a conversation with gorgeous boy number three.  Or she would inform him when the gardener’s cute son was out working on the flowers - usually shirtless, usually sweaty.  Anakin always rolled his eyes at the information but would still suddenly decide to go explore the garden, just to get some fresh air, of course.

“What are you going to do without me here for three months?” Anakin teased, nudging her lightly.

“Me? I’m actually going to get work done and stay out of trouble for once,” she responded with a laugh.  He glanced beside him, admiring all of Padme’s beauty.  She deserved to find a man who could truly fall in love with her.  Even though no one would ever be good enough in Anakin’s opinion, he still felt like their arrangement of a false marriage was shorting her of everything she deserved.

 

“Anakin, it’s nice of you to join us for dinner twenty minutes late,” Cliegg’s voice echoed throughout the magnificent dining room.  A small meal prepared for the family sat on the deep oak table - nothing extremely fancy since it was only him, Cliegg, and his mother eating.

“My apologies,  _ Father _ ,” Anakin replied bitterly before sitting into a chair between the two people he called parents.  The word never settled right with him.  When he was younger, he would call him by his first name, but Shmi eventually asked him to stop because it was a sign of disrespect.  And he loved his mother so he started calling the man next to him his father, whether it felt like it or not.

“Hello Ani,” his mother beamed. “How’d your classes go today?  Is Padme doing well?  Oh, we should have had her for dinner.”  Anakin couldn’t be rude or sarcastic around his mother, not when she was the strongest woman he knew.  Whenever he was around her, the hurricane that was his head slightly settled and he felt a little bit at peace.

“She had other dinner arrangements but I’m sure we can arrange something before I leave for Cascada,” he responded, placing some meat onto his plate.  Shmi’s face morphed from happiness to distraught within a second, turning her attention towards her husband.

“Cliegg, I thought we said we were going to discuss this together?”

“My dear, there was nothing to discuss.  The boy needs to learn the proper manners and etiquette if he ever wants to be a respected king.”  There was nothing more that Anakin hated was when people talked right in front of him like he wasn’t even there.

“Which I don’t,” Anakin added, moving his food around with his fork.

“Ungrateful.  You have a destiny that millions would die for and yet, you want some unrealistic dream you have of your future.  It’s time for you to wake up and accept that this is what you will do.  You’re going to be the future King of Elodor and I’ll be damned if I don’t make sure you’re going to be the best King you can be.”

“Cliegg-,” Shmi began to say softly, only to be interrupted.

“No Shmi,” he responded forcefully.  “He needs to hear this like it is, I’m done being nice about it.”

Anakin felt the anger bubble in his gut.  Whenever Cliegg spoke to his mother like that, like she didn’t have a say in her own son, he began to see red.  He understood that as King, he was under an immense amount of stress but there was never an excuse to speak to her unkindly.  _ Don’t make a scene, don’t make a scene,  _ his mind echoed to himself.  With his jaw clenched, he took a bite of the chicken and chewed it slowly.

“We just want what is best for you, sweetheart,” Shmi offered, quietly.  As much as Anakin loved his mother, he could never make her understand that this life was never meant for him.  To him, Shmi was a queen long before she ever met Cliegg, but Anakin was no prince.  He was a warrior, a fighter, a man who wanted to help people beyond castle walls. 

“Your mentor will be our Lead Knight, Obi-Wan Kenobi.  Hopefully he can make a man out of you,” Cliegg grunted, before he took a long drink of his red wine.

“Kenobi?  The Knight who won the war against Gastro?”

Cliegg nodded, “He’s a very respectable, man.  Only about ten years older than you.  Don’t look at this as a punishment for everything that you’ve ruined in, well, the past eight years.  Look at it as an opportunity to...discover something new, yeah?”

_ Everything I’ve ruined in the past eight years _ , the words replayed in his head.

“When do I leave?”

“The day after the semester is over for your schooling.”

Anakin glanced once more at his mother, unable to read her emotions.  It felt more like they were trying to get rid of him for a short amount of time.  Maybe he could run away, take Padme with him, leave the kingdom all together.  They could both start fresh and live in a place where no one would recognize them.  Wouldn’t that be a headline for the papers?   _ Prince Skywalker disappears from Elodor, not even a note to tell us the motive. _  But Anakin knew the motive - he was tired of it all, he was tried of this castle and everyone telling him what to do.  He was tired of being Prince Anakin.

 

The night sky was dark yet filled with stars and the light from the moon melted down to the planet, casting a comforting luminosity throughout the land.  Padme crawled through the window and took a seat next to Anakin on the roof, overlooking the city below. It was as dead as the night, only those two awake.

“Are you nervous?”

“Why would I be nervous?” Anakin replied, a little too harsh.  Padme snuggled into his side, resting her head on his shoulder. Her presence calmed him but he knew how much he would miss her after he left in the morning.

“It’s a change of environment, you’ll be surrounded by new people. That can make anyone nervous, Ani.”

“You’re just saying that to keep the attention off how much you’ll miss me.”

Padme giggled and Anakin smiled at the noise. “Do me a favor and fall in love with a cute knight, it would do you good.”

“I’m not after love.”

“No, but you certainly need it.”

The words stung unintentionally but he knew deep down that she was right. Anakin struggled with making friends when becoming apart of the royal family, when becoming the prince.  Padme had always been surrounded by people that she called friends and trusted, but all Anakin had was Padme and his mother.  All the others had only used him for his title and never truly understood him.  For as charismatic as he was, and how much he was surrounded by people, Anakin was lonely.

“I promise I’ll write every chance I get.”

“I wouldn't expect any less,” Padme replied with a small yawn.

“Why do I feel like everything is going to be different when I get back?”

Padme didn't answer, she had already fallen asleep.

He carried her to her room on the east side of the palace and placed her in her elegant bed. “Goodbye, Padme,” he whispered before kissing her forehead.

 

Lake Cascada was breathtaking, Anakin had only ever seen it in pictures. It sat deep in the forest, amongst the thick trees. Men and women alike wandered around their base, all in their casual uniforms of black tank tops and cargo pants.  He could see some obstacle courses off in the distance, and to his right was the lake itself, the brightest blue he had ever seen.

“You must be Anakin.”  The voice shook him out of his daze.  Standing in front of him was a very attractive man with a slight beard and dirty blonde hair.  _ Obi-Wan Kenobi.   _ Anakin tried to take in the sight all at once without gawking too much, but he had grown up hearing stories about his victories on the battlefield.  He noticed a number of things; one being that Obi-Wan didn't refer to him as  _ Prince Anakin,  _ which was already a relief, and the second was that his black t-shirt hugged his body tightly, showing off  _ every single one of his muscles. _

He had been staring too long. “Yes, hi. You must be Obi-Wan.”  Anakin nearly forgot to shake the hand that was outstretched to him, but when he did, he felt weak compared to Obi-Wan’s tight grip.

“I’ll show you to your living quarters and explain the place as we go, sound good?”  Anakin nodded and picked up his two bags from the ground. They walked next to each other, Anakin trying to ignore all the looks they kept receiving from the knights and the knights in training.  “I’m not sure how much you know about Lake Cascada, but it’s one of the oldest and largest military bases Elodor has.  It houses knights of all ranks and knights in training alike. You’ll be staying with the latter in a dorm at the west side of the lake. Not too bad of a walk from main campus but I wouldn't recommend being out and about by yourself at night.”

“Wait, did you say dorm?” Anakin asked, bewildered. “I can't share a room with...other people. What if I sleep naked?”  It was a bad excuse.

Obi-Wan chuckled. “Ah right, I’ve heard. The Prince of Elodor doesn't play nice with others. Well, looks like your roommates will be seeing a lot more of you than they would like.” Obi-Wan winked and Anakin felt his cheeks flush. His gut told him this was going to be quite an experience, and not one of the good kind.

They arrived at the building and Obi-Wan showed him his corner of the room where a small dresser sits underneath the bunk.  In the open space alone, there were ten other beds exactly like his, all occupied with different men.  Like before, the guys in the room stared at the two with bewilderment.  Anakin could hear their thoughts in his head:  _ Is that really the prince?  _

“Make yourself at home.”

Anakin scoffed, “Is this even considered a mattress?”

“There’s always the floor.”

Obi-Wan watched amused at Anakin as he started to take in the environment.  When Cliegg contacted him about taking him in, he had no idea what to expect. But now, after only meeting him for twenty minutes, Obi-Wan decided he was going to have some fun.


	2. Part Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bare with me, I'm still trying to figure out all of this as I go - it's been much too long since I've written a legit fic. Originally, this idea was supposed to be more like a two part one short, but it's definitely now a chaptered fic. Hope you enjoy and please leave comments for things that you want to see/things that you like/etc.!

Anakin felt like he was at camp, or at least how he imagined camp could be if he ever went to camp.  No one had ventured out and introduced themselves to him, he presumed because of the intimidating title attached to his name.  Obi-Wan gave him the evening to settle in and explore so that’s exactly what Anakin decided to do.

He wasn’t sure of the exact time but it had to be close to dinner.  The dirt path was soft when he stepped out of his dorm hall and the air smelled fresh.  He almost thought he would enjoy this if it was his own decision, but since it was against his will and Cliegg was the one who decided it for him, it left a bitter taste in his mouth.

Anakin hadn’t even walked five steps before something,  _ someone, _ had rammed into him, nearly knocking him off balance.  “Sorry about that” the unfamiliar voice chirped, Anakin turned around to see a dark skinned girl with her black hair pulled back into cornrows.  “Oh, shit.  I know you, you’re the prince.”  She leaned over and picked up a frisbee laying next to Anakin’s feet.

“Just Anakin is fine” he mumbled, going to turn away.

“I’m Ahsoka,” the girl continued, not taking a hint that he  _ really  _ didn’t want to be bothered. “And that man over there is Rex,” she points to a built guy nearly fifty feet away.  “He doesn’t have the best aim, hence the reason why I had to run and try to catch this damn thing.  Which is also the reason why I accidently ran into you.”

Rex jogged over to the two and Ahsoka introduced Anakin to him without him saying a word.  Rex outstretched his hand and gave him a firm shake.  “We don’t have many royalty come through these parts, but it’s an honor to meet you, sir.”

“For the sake of everything, let’s all pretend like I’m not the prince,” Anakin responded.

“How long are you staying?  Why are you here?  Man, this is exciting.  I hope you don’t mind getting your ass kicked.  Here, come with us, Rex and I will give you a tour of the place,” Ahsoka rambled.  Anakin was about to reject but then he realized it wasn’t a question, it was a statement, and he had a feeling she wasn’t taking no for an answer even if he did try to refuse the offer.

The three of them walked along the dirt paths, Ahsoka doing most of the talking.  Occasionally, some people passing by said hi to Rex and Ahsoka, but never said anything to Anakin.  He wasn’t sure if they just didn’t care or if they were scared to.

“And here is the main hall.  All meals are served here and there are other some other services offered.  This is the place you go to if you have a problem.  Food is good, probably nothing you’re used to in the palace and all, but still edible.”

Rex leaned into Anakin, Ahsoka completely obvious, and whispered, “Don’t worry, she’ll wear herself out eventually.”  For the first time since he had arrived at the camp this morning, Anakin cracked a smile and began enjoying the company of the two.

After receiving the entire tour which took much longer than anticipated,  Anakin began to feel a bit out of his league.  He was very fit from his personal training in the palace, but these knights, these soldiers, they looked like they were built to destroy.  Most of them performed activities outside of their mandatory training sessions, he noted.  And all of them knew Ahsoka and Rex.

Anakin parted ways with them an hour before dinner, allowing himself to begin unpacking his bags.  For being the prince, he didn’t have a large amount of fancy clothes, or at least, he didn’t bring any along with him.  The washroom attached to the dorm area was another thing in itself.   _ At least the showers are somewhat private _ , Anakin thought to himself.  He really didn’t want to endure the awkwardness of getting a surprise hard on from all the naked guys he would undoubtedly be surrounded by.

The dining hall was packed when he arrived and he felt like a little kid at school, trying to figure out where to sit and what to do.  He observed as the other people went through the line and put what they wanted to eat on their plate.  Anakin did exactly that, not paying much attention to what he was scooping on his plate.  It was strange not being served but it also made him feel more normal.  To his pleasure, there was an unoccupied table in the corner of the hall.  He settled there, keeping his head down as much as possible.

“Hey new friend, not-prince-Anakin.”  He hadn’t even been alone for a minute and Ahsoka and Rex had already found him.  But to his surprise, he was happy they came and joined him.

“What do you guys think about Commander Kenobi?”  Anakin blurted out, almost instantly regretting it.

“Obi-Wan?  He’s a great man, an even greater soldier,” Rex responded.  Anakin already knew that, but he wanted to hear other things about him. 

Obi-Wan hadn’t left his mind since he had first met him.  He was attractive, Anakin admitted to himself, but all it was, was a mere curiosity.  He wanted to hear war stories and ask him about how he became so skilled at a young age.  Really, he wanted to know everything about the man whose name and the word ‘hero’ were almost always used in the same sentence.

There was hardly an ounce of silence throughout dinner.  The more Ahsoka talked, the more comfortable Anakin felt. She asked him questions, nothing personal enough for him to feel uncomfortable.  He offered replies and as dinner went on, he was sharing stories about the palace and it felt  _ good _ .  He tried to remember how long it had been since he had talked like this to people other than Padme and sometimes his mother, but he couldn’t.  Not because he was shy, but because whenever someone outside of those two did talk to him, it was for their personal gain, not because they genuinely cared about what he had to say.

“Right now, we aren’t too busy.  Occasionally we get sent out to solve some disputes amongst the villagers but there hasn’t been any major conflict since the war with Gastro,” Rex explained.  “Still, we always have to be on our toes in case something were to happen - not that your negotiations won’t be successful in the future, but we’re the backup plan for Elodor.”

“Well, your service is greatly appreciated,” Anakin replied with a small smile.  It was such a standard answer, he had heard it said thousands of times whenever Cliegg met some of the knights.  But what Anakin wanted to say was how much he admired their bravery, their strength, their will-power to constantly push themselves to put their lives on the line for the good of others.  What Anakin really wanted to say is when he was a young boy, he dreamed about doing the same exact thing.

 

Morning came abruptly.  Anakin couldn’t remember when he fell asleep, but he knew it must have been late.  His body yearned to close his eyes but there were several loud noises alerting everyone to get out of bed.  It suddenly dawned to him where he was.   _ Right, today is the first day of my etiquette training. _

He hopped out of his bunk and went to open his dresser to change but stopped in his tracks when he saw a uniform laying on top.  There was no note, only the identical uniform to what everyone else in the base wore.  Next came the problem of Anakin not knowing where to change.  All of his dorm-mates were stripping down right next to their bunks, which Anakin didn’t pay attention to what-so-ever, not even the gorgeous boy to his right with the pretty eyes, nope.  So he followed suit, stripping down and changing into the foreign clothes.  To his surprise, they fit near perfect.

Breakfast came and went - he sat in the same spot with his new friends, or at least he thought he could call them friends.  As he got up to leave, waiting near the exit door was none other than Obi-Wan Kenobi.  Even though he was surrounded by hundreds of soldiers, Anakin could spot him from a mile away.  He wasn’t sure why he was excited to see him, maybe it was only a childhood admiration?  Regardless, Anakin mentally appreciated the tight white t-shirt Obi-Wan was wearing and the way his hair messily fell down into his face.

Obi-Wan smiled as Anakin approached.  “Goodmorning, sunshine.  Ready for the day?”

“I’d be more ready if you told me what all it entitled.  What do you know about teaching etiquette and manners, anyway?” Anakin responded sharply.

“Etiquette and manners?” Obi-Wan retorted with a laugh. “Is that why you think you’re here?”

“Well-,”

“You’re in for a treat then, princess.”  Anakin felt his face flush at the slight jab.   _ Princess _ , Anakin Skywalker was no princess and he certainly wasn’t going to let Obi-Wan get away with such.  His wounded ego recovered quickly as he followed Obi-Wan through the exit and out the door.  Questions swirled his mind - was Cliegg aware that this was no punishment for his actions?  Was Anakin really going to be going through the training that every knight in the Elodorian army had underwent?

Obi-Wan glanced over and at the younger guy walking next to him.  He was shorter than Anakin by only a couple inches but they seemed equal in build.  Normally, Obi-Wan could read people’s emotions by one look at their face but Anakin’s was non-existent.  And quite frankly, the boy flat out confused him.  Ahsoka explained that he had the same reaction to them when they first started showing him around the base, but by dinnertime, he was sharing small stories about the palace and joining in on the banter.

But still, even though he was clearly out of place at Lake Cascada, Obi-Wan admired the confidence in his walk and the presence he gave off.  Just being around him was intriguing.  And Obi-Wan had never been one to care about titles - he had been to many important meetings with high-up political figures. He knew his spirit of inquiry wasn’t because Anakin was the Prince of Elodor, but his mind couldn’t pinpoint the reason for his curiosity of him.

He knew this curiosity was dangerous.

They reached the a beach of the lake, Anakin noting that they weren’t with a group of soldiers - instead, it was only the two of them.  “So, it’s just me and you then?” he asked, looking back in the direction of where they came from.

“Oh, no worries.  You’ll join up with some of the team activities throughout your stay here, but right now, it’s just me and you.”  Anakin liked the sound of that.  Afterall, he knew that others were already not taking his presence here lightly.

“Tell me, Obi-Wan.  What are we doing at the lake at eight in the morning?”

A grin spread across Obi-Wan’s face.  “You’re going to go for a swim.”

“Ha, yeah sure.”

Obi-Wan took a step forward, almost seeming like a form of intimidation.  “Oh, you think I’m joking?  Unless you want to wake up in the middle of the lake, floating on your mattress, I suggest you get swimming out to that dock and back.”

“I get it now,”  Anakin retorts quickly, “You’re just looking for an excuse to see me with my shirt off.”  Without another word, he swiftly peeled off the black t-shirt and tossed it to the side, revealing his chiseled abs.  Next were his shoes and pants, and all of the sudden, he was left standing in only his boxers in front of Obi-Wan.

_ I need you to be hard on my son,  _ King Cliegg’s words repeated in his mind,  _ you’re the only one I know who is capable of this.  Break him and the rebuild him a soldier, a respectable man, a future leader.  It’s the only way to ensure Elodor will be left in the right hands. _  Obi-Wan wished he could forget about the special request he was given, and he would have refused if he had the option.  But it was job, his passion at stake.  So he agreed to do this months before he had met the Prince of Elodor.  __

Obi-Wan was quiet for a few moments, his playful grin erased off of his face. “You have three minutes to swim to the dock and back, I suggest you do it fast.”  The lightness of his tone had disappeared, it reminded Anakin too much of the way Cliegg spoke to him.  “Go.”  The timer started and Anakin hit the water, his head spinning with questions of  _ what the hell just happened. _

Obi-Wan watched as Anakin swam in the near fifty degree water, his mind equally as muddy as Anakin’s.  Obi-Wan had always been the commander that got along best with the soldiers - there were other commanders who liked to keep sessions emotionless and only work, but he had always prefered the lighter route.  He found that people responded better when that was the case.  He’d push them to their limits, but still at the end of the day, they liked him because that was the type of person he was.

Despite the regret in himself, Obi-Wan had to follow the King’s orders and in order to do that, he had to turn off his emotions and leave only commander mode visible.  It was already a mistake, a fatal flaw even, to allow himself to joke around with Anakin from the start - but he couldn’t help himself.

Anakin finished with forty seconds to go, an extremely impressive time.  He came out of the lake soaking wet and shivering.  “How’d I do,  _ Commander Kenobi?” _

Obi-Wan tried to ignore the sting from the bitterness in his voice.  He almost had to bite his tongue from informing Anakin that he had just broken a record for completing this test for the first time in two minutes and twenty-seconds but instead he replied, “Do it again.” Same harshness as before.

So Anakin did, completing the test in an even lower time before.  Obi-Wan kept his eyes locked on Anakin’s face every time he emerged from the water, not letting them travel any lower.  “Again.”

After the sixth time Anakin came out of the lake, absolutely miserable and furious.  “Listen, I don’t know if your soldiers are fucking dolphins but I’m not getting back in that lake,” he huffed, hugging his arms around his bare body.

“Rule number one: you’ll do as I tell you.  Respect your superiors,” Obi-Wan replied.

“Technically-,”

“Technically, what?” Obi-Wan interrupted, “You’re my superior?  Not here, Anakin.”  Obi-Wan almost hated himself for being so cruel but he knew Anakin was going to be a special case, especially with the King’s orders, especially with Obi-Wan’s instant softness for him.

Anakin hastily dried off and dressed himself, muttering some words underneath his breath.  His anger was clear but Obi-Wan couldn’t tell if it was directed at him or himself.

_ Just do your job, he’s no different from any other soldier,  _ Obi-Wan’s mind repeated but his tongue beat him before he could stop himself.  “You broke a record the first time you did it,” he blurted out.  “I just wanted to see if your score would improve any and it did.”

“Isn’t that fantastic,” Anakin mumbled in reply, but still, Obi-Wan noticed his angry expression soften.

Three months suddenly seemed like a lifetime to the both of them.

 

“How was your first day? And don’t spare all the gory details,” Ahsoka said as she sat across from Anakin.  Dinner was spaghetti and to Anakin’s surprise, it tasted pretty good.

“Obi-Wan is a dick.”

“Wait, are we talking about the same Obi-Wan?  Sarcastic, yeah.  Dick, definitely no.  Unless you really pissed him off which I have never seen anyone in this entire base do, so you  _ really  _ must have messed up.”

“That’s the thing,” Anakin explained, frustrated. “I didn’t do anything, besides, well.  Make a comment about him wanting to see me with shirt off.  I did the swimming test or whatever you guys call it and it was like one minute everything was going great and the next, his personality was gone.”  Anakin tried to not let on how much it bothered him, it couldn’t have been that big of a deal.  But he was so confused as to what changed in him after one stupid comment.

Anakin should really just keep his mouth shut.

Rex joined them a few minutes later, mumbling something to Ahsoka that Anakin wasn’t meant to hear.  “Have you told him yet?”

“Told me what?” Anakin interjected.

Rex sighed and turned towards him.  “Some, well, a lot of your roommates don’t feel comfortable sleeping in the same dorm as the ‘Prince of Elodor’.  They’ve put in a lot of complaints.  It’s nothing against you, sir- I mean Anakin. It’s just that, well, they’re worried that they’ll end up doing something you won’t like and you’ll have them executed or something.”

“Executed?  Rex that’s ridiculous.  There hasn’t been any executions in Elodor for hundreds of years.”

“Rex and I both know that,” Ahsoka added.  “The heads have tried to reason with them but I’m afraid your presence, at least with the living quarters, has caused a disturbance.  They’re moving you from the dorms and you’ll be staying in a spare room at the commander’s housing.  Rex and I will show you where it is and we’ll help you unpack everything.”

Anakin frowned.   _ I guess you’re not really welcome anywhere,  _ he thought,  _ not in the palace as a prince and not in a military base as a soldier. _

Ahsoka noticed the disappointment on his face for a slight second before it quickly disappeared back to it’s normal, expressionless structure.

After dinner, Rex and Ahsoka did exactly what they said they were going to do; help pack up Anakin’s stuff and move him to the commander building on the east side of the lake.  Already, it was evident that these rooms were much more luxurious.  Inside, it was much less crowded and set up with individual rooms.  His was on the second floor.

As Rex began to unlock the door to his room, the door across from his opened and none other than Obi-Wan stepped out.  “Evening Ahsoka, Rex...Anakin,” he greeted.  A mug filled with some sort of liquid was in his hand and he was out of his work uniform and in something that looked much more comfortable.

“Looks like you two are neighbors!” Ahsoka exclaimed.  Anakin avoided Obi-Wan’s eyes, as if the day could get any worse.

“Ah, yes.  I overheard what happened from the other commanders at dinner.  I’m sure this will be, ah, more accommodating to what you’re used to?”  Obi-Wan could tell that Anakin wouldn’t look at him and it only made him feel more guilty, empty even, after what he did today and what he would more than likely have to do the remainder of the time of his stay.

Anakin no longer cared about the shitty mattress or the lack of privacy, he would take the dorm back in a heartbeat.

“Thanks for helping me move my stuff, but I think I’m going to retire early tonight,” Anakin said before taking a step into his room.  “See you guys at breakfast.”  He didn’t address Obi-Wan. The door clicked shut and the three were left out in the hallway.

“Not that it’s my place, sir, but what did you do to the prince?” Rex inquired.

“What I had to do,” Obi-Wan replied, sadly.


	3. Part Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm cranking this chapters out like mad - I love love love writing this fic. It's very different from anything I've ever written before! Thank you to everyone who commented on the first two chapters, there's no better feeling than having someone physically comment on your work. As I said previously, if there's anything you want to see or anything you specifically loved in the chapter, please let me know, I'll try to incorporate more of that without straying too much from my mental timeline of this. Without furtherado, I bring you part three.

“Climb the tree,” Anakin repeated to himself in a very annoyed tone.

Obi-Wan nodded his head. “Soldiers have to be prepared to utilize their surroundings on the battlefield.  Climb to the top.”

Anakin couldn’t even bare to argue anymore.  Part of him even enjoyed the physical challenge, but what he didn’t enjoy was Obi-Wan’s presence.  It was at the end of the week and all he had done was spent silent hours with him, being tested in every way possible.  He couldn’t remember the last time his body had ached with such soreness and he could feel the blisters rub against his boots.

It wasn’t that Anakin didn’t respect Obi-Wan, it was how different Obi-Wan acted towards him.  He had seen the way he acted towards the other soldiers - with personality and charm.  Ahsoka and Rex hadn’t offered any helpful insight on why Obi-Wan was nothing short of cold with him, but he grew tired of it very fast.

Ever since Shmi and Cliegg married Anakin had been treated different because he was the prince.  And when he came here, when he met Obi-Wan on the first day, he thought that for once that wouldn’t be the case.  But Obi-Wan did exactly that.  Anakin stopped making witty comments, and for the most part, he even hid his annoyance for the tests.  It was all strictly business.

Obi-Wan watched as Anakin began climbing the tree which happened to be one of the taller trees on camp.  The timer was going and he was anxious to see what record-breaking time Anakin would have this time.  Obi-Wan admired Anakin’s natural ability to do everything with ease yet still work hard.  And the more Obi-Wan thought about it, he admired nearly every aspect of him to his demise.  Anakin was a natural born-soldier and it was a shame that he would never be able to serve the people of Elodor in that way.

Anakin maneuvered quickly, taking each branch at a time, only having the end it sight.  His body ached for a break but he surged himself forward, ignoring the pain from his skin being scratched by the bark.

_ He’s going to break another record,  _ Obi-Wan thought, but then it happens.  About twenty feet above, Anakin miss stepped, his foot lands on a branch that couldn’t support his weight.  One moment he was high above in the tree and the next moment he was laying on the ground.  Obi-Wan was next to him in a flash, carefully pulling his body into his.

“Don’t move,” he instructed, almost cradling Anakin in his arms.  “What’s your name?  Where are you?”

Anakin groaned, feeling pain shoot throughout his body.  His head pounded and it was hard for him to understand what was happening.  At first he saw black and then tiny specks of light started showing through.  Obi-Wan’s face appeared into focus and Anakin came somewhat back to reality.   _ What’s your name _ , Anakin asked himself in a daze.

“Obi-Wan, wh-what happened?” he managed out.

“You just fell out of a tree.  Try to keep your eyes open.  Can you tell me your name?”  His voice was soft, a completely different tone than what Anakin had heard all week, even softer than what he had heard the first day he had met him.

“Anakin,” he said slowly, “Anakin Skywalker.”  Obi-Wan smiled and the very confused Anakin decided right then that he loved Obi-Wan’s smile and wished to see it more often.

“We’re going to take you to the infirmary.  Do you feel any sharp pains anywhere?  Does anything feel broken?”

Anakin shook his head carefully, not wanting to take his eyes off of the man leaving over him.

     “You’re going to be okay,” Obi-Wan repeated, and neither of them were sure if it was for Anakin to hear or Obi-Wan himself.

 

When Anakin woke up, he was in the infirmary laying in a bed.  His instant reaction was to look for Obi-Wan but to his disappointment, he was alone.  A nurse wandered into the room a couple moments later, introducing herself as Claire.  Her blonde hair was pulled into a tight bun and she had a kind smile, Anakin noticed.

“Hi Anakin,” she greets, “Do you know where you are?”

“I’m going to take a stab and guess the infirmary.”

She laughed lightly and nodded her head. “Correct you are.  Can you tell me your name and age?”

“Anakin Skywalker, age twenty-two.”

“Alright, so no long term memory loss which is a very good sign.”  _ I sure don’t feel like it,  _ Anakin thought.  “Do you know why you’re here?”

It took a minute to figure out what had happened but in a rush, the previous events flooded back to him.  He remembered falling out of the tree and Obi-Wan rushing toward him.   _ Obi-Wan.  _ The image of Obi-Wan leaning over him, a worried look on his face played over in Anakin’s head - a blissful memory. Then he remembered Obi-Wan’s smile and for some odd reason, it made him feel a little bit better.

“How in the hell did I fall out of a tree?” Anakin thought out loud.  It was a simple task and he...he failed?  And injured himself in the process?

“Well, you remember why you're here, another good sign.  But you do have two fractured ribs, lots of scraps and bruises, and a concussion. Not much we can do for you besides bed rest for the next couple days and give you some medicine for the headache you have.”

“Can I at least go back to my room?” he asked with a sigh.   _ It’s only been one week,  _ his brain reminds him.

“Yeah, we’re just waiting for your friends Ahsoka and Rex to walk you back.  If the headache doesn't go away in three days, come back and we’ll do a more in depth scan to make sure there’s nothing more serious.  I don't know how you fell twenty feet out of a tree and only got a concussion and a couple fractured ribs.  You should be paralyzed right now.”

“I guess my body is made for this type of thing.”

 

* * *

 

Ahsoka and Rex showed up an hour later after their last training session of the day.  Ahsoka burst through the door, a look of bewilderment on her face. “It's only been a week - I told you that you were going to get your ass kicked.  Fell out of a tree?  I guess I’ve heard of worst first week accidents.”

Rex nodded his head in agreement, “One bloke almost drowned in the lake.  Another caught on fire trying to get a fire started.  Others have fallen out of the tree before so don't worry about it.”

“Will you two assholes just get me out of this place?” It was bad enough that Anakin had already felt like he failed and his head hadn't stopped pounding, but now his two friends were telling him that he’s not alone in the incident.

They helped him back to his room regardless of how many times Anakin repeated that he could get there without their help, but they insisted on babysitting him for the short trip.  The minute he got back, he collapsed into his bed, which was much comfortable than the one before, and let out a loud groan. 

“Oh, no need to be a baby about it,” Ahsoka teased, to which Anakin then threw a pillow at her. 

“In your defense, Obi-Wan has worked you triple the amount of an average first week soldier’s training would be.  Your body probably is exhausted and when you were climbing, your legs must have given out,” Rex informed. 

“What?” 

“I mean, from all the tests you’ve told us about, that’s an unusual workload.”

Anakin didn't respond, instead his brain tried to process the new information he was just given.  Obi-Wan was overworking him and he didn't treat him the same.  What did he have against Anakin?  The more Obi-Wan treated him the way he did, the more Anakin craved validation for his hard work.  Today was the first day he had seen a different side of him, when he was injured.  _ And he couldn't stop thinking about it.  _

“I think I'm going to rest, I don't want you guys to miss dinner,” Anakin said.  He watched Ahsoka glance at Rex before they both hesitantly agreed. They said their goodbyes and wished Anakin well before leaving him alone in his room.

 

Obi-Wan was in a state of distraught.  Out of all the challenges he had faced in his lifetime, why did this one feel like the most troubling?  He was doing what he was supposed to do, whether he wanted to or not.  Every action, every decision, all stemmed from the king’s orders.  And he wasn’t in a position to question them.

But the look on Anakin’s face every single time he told him to redo a test because it wasn’t good enough, even though his times were always past impressive, it hurt him in a way it shouldn’t.  Anakin was a unique character, a man whose personality should be cherished, not broken and rebuilt.

Why did Cliegg choose him out of all the other commanders for this job?  Obi-Wan knew, and he didn’t want to think about it so he silenced the little voice in the back of his head reminding him of the things that made this entire situation worse.

After dinner, Obi-Wan battled himself about whether or not to fix an extra plate for Anakin.  In his brief conversation with Ahsoka, she had mentioned that Anakin was back in his room, which happened to be across from his.   _ Bringing Anakin food would be a violation of your personal mandate from the king himself,  _ his conscious reminded.   _ But he wouldn’t even need someone to bring him food if it weren’t for you. _

Obi-Wan quickly fixed a plate, guessing which foods he thought Anakin would like.  Carrots were a good choice for a vegetable, but what if he had something against the color orange?  Peas were mushy and gross, but who in the world genuinely likes broccoli?  Obi-Wan decided on the carrots, calculating the risk of Anakin not liking carrots, and quickly made an exit from the building, not stopping to socialize with any of his fellow knights.

He stood in front of Anakin’s door for three minutes before he knocked.  It only took a moment before the door opened and there stood Anakin, shirtless and in a pair of sweatpants that hung low on his hips.  “I brought you dinner,” Obi-Wan blurted out, nearly shoving the plate into Anakin’s hands.  “Can I come in?”

Anakin didn’t say anything, he just stepped to the side, allowing Obi-Wan to make an entrance.  The room looked nearly untouched except for the bed which had sheets bunched up in every direction possible.

Anakin took a seat on the end of his bed and Obi-Wan sat in the chair to the desk across from him.

“How are you feeling?”  Obi-Wan’s voice was his normal voice, not the one he used during the training sessions with Anakin, not even the one he used when talking to other soldiers.  It was the voice he used when he was holding Anakin close to his body earlier today.  It was the one that made Anakin feel at home.

“Well for falling out of a tree, I would say I’m just peachy.”  Anakin really hadn’t meant to be rude or overly sarcastic, but the entire presence of Obi-Wan was throwing him off.  He wasn’t with him when he woke up in the infirmary but he was here now, sitting in his room, and he even brought him dinner.  (A gesture that meant more than what Anakin was willing to let on.)

“I’m sorry.”  The words take both of them by surprise, creating even more tension in the room.

“What for?”

“For you getting injured.  You’re my responsibility and I shouldn’t have been so hard on you.”  Anakin could feel his heartbeat speed up.   _ What was happening? _

The words nearly knocked his breath out of him. “You can’t possibly blame yourself for this,” Anakin replied in disbelief. “It’s not like you pushed me out of the tree.”

_ No, but it felt that way,  _ Obi-Wan thought.  His eyes locked with Anakin’s and for the first time since the first day he met him, he saw emotion his eyes.  It was sadness and anger and frustration.  It was everything Anakin was trying so hard to hide from him and everyone else.  Most of the time it worked, but not today, not right now.  He felt the need to be close to him, to hold him and ask him about what was on his mind.  In that moment, Obi-Wan wanted to know every single detail about Anakin’s life from before when they first met.  Did he have a lover waiting for him to return?  And most importantly, did he know how to love and be loved?  Obi-Wan wasn’t sure.

Some voices in the hallway snapped him out of his trance.  King Cliegg, the orders, everything; it all came back to him in a harsh rush of reality.  

“Right well, I just wanted to check in.  I’ll give you tomorrow off but be ready to work the day after that.”  Obi-Wan stood up from his chair and bid a monotone goodbye, shutting the door behind him.  He leaned his back against the door, closing his eyes in immense frustration.  He had no idea how he was going to continue on with this.

Anakin sat breathless on the end of his bed, his head spinning but not only from the concussion.  Obi-Wan’s voice had changed back to the cold tone he had grown to despise.  He fell back onto his bed, covering his hands with his face.  All he wanted was to hear Obi-Wan’s voice, his real voice, again and again.  All he wanted was to understand the mystery of Obi-Wan Kenobi.


	4. Part 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just wanted to say a special shout out to jackalantern_ice and harrylee94 for all of their lovely comments on the previous chapters. It means the absolute world! I'm not sure when I'll have time to write the next part because I've got a long week ahead of me but I promise I'll update as soon as possible!

_Padme,_

 

_Sorry I haven’t written all week but I’ve been busier than I imagined I would be and when I’m not being kept busy, I’m sleeping.  The only reason I can write you now is because I’m on bedrest - I’ll explain that later in the letter.  Right now, I need to ramble about everything you're wondering.  I use the word ramble because I have no idea how much this will make sense when I’m done._

_To begin with, Lake Cascada is as beautiful as you said it would be.  Pictures will never do it justice.  The entire base is set up with nice buildings and great outdoor structure.  It’s also fucking huge.  When I first arrived, I was set to live in a dorm with several other soldiers and I stayed there for one night.  But I guess they didn’t like my presence because they all complained to whoever is in charge here, I don’t even know.  They said they didn’t feel comfortable around me so they moved me to a spare room in the commander’s housing.  I’d describe the commander’s housing rooms as un-glorified suites - you wouldn’t be impressed.  I’m sure some might decorate them with what they like but right now, mine is rather bland._

_Before you start to go all motherly on me, yes I have made friends; two of them.  Ahsoka is great, very energetic, very hardworking - you’d like her.  Rex is focused and orderly but still knows how to joke around.  They’ve been helping me get around this camp.  Unlike everyone else, I don’t think they really care about where I come from which is nice?_

_Then there’s Obi-Wan, Commander Kenobi.  He’s the one in charge of my training while I’m here.  I don’t know what to write about him honestly except that he frustrates me in the worst ways possible.  He acts different around me, treats me completely different from all the other soldiers.  And in the short few moments when he is himself, this caring, charismatic, charming guy, it feels like it almost makes up for the times he’s being a complete dick.  Like when I fell out of a tree, for example.  That was yesterday.  It had been a hard week and I hadn’t been focusing.  One minute I was climbing up the tree (it was for a physical test) at the speed of light and the next thing I was laying on the ground.  Obi-Wan, I hadn’t ever seen him so worried, so full of emotion.  I think that was the only time he let me see any emotion.  He was a completely different person, just the tone of voice he used when he spoke, the little smile on his face when I told him my name, all of it.  It only lasted a couple minutes before I blacked out again but it was, I don’t know what words to use, comforting, refreshing?  I don’t know, you’ve always had better vocabulary than me.  No worries, though.  I only have a couple fractured ribs and a concussion.  It’s nothing near as bad like when I jumped off the palace roof and tried to land in a flower bed._

_I miss you more than anything in the world.  When you respond, tell me everything that’s happened since I’ve been gone.  Is my mother doing well?  Has anything drastically changed?  It’s like an entire different world out here and I can’t tell if I love it or hate it.  I’m going to go now since it’s three in the morning, but I love you very very much._

 

_Anakin_

 

His handwriting wasn’t the best, Anakin admitted to himself.  When he read it over, he wished he had been more clear about Obi-Wan, he wished that he knew how to describe what he was feeling inside but there were no words that came to mind except confusion.

The clock on the end table next to his bed read 3:32am and he wasn’t sure whether or not to blame the concussion for this sleepless night.  All he could think about was Obi-Wan’s apology and the way he sounded when he felt responsible for him.  Anakin was sure Obi-Wan felt responsible for all of the soldiers he trained, but he wanted to believe he was different, _needed_ , even. He needed to believe that Obi-Wan felt responsible for him for more of a reason than that he was the one training him.

Anakin folded up the letter and left it on the desk for him to mail in the morning before he climbed back into bed, his ribs aching with every movement.   _Seriously, a fucking tree,_ he cursed at himself before closing his eyes and trying to sleep.

 

When he woke up the next morning, there was no alarm going off.  In fact, the clock next to him said 11:46am.  Anakin had slept past breakfast and nearly past lunch.

His brain pounded with a continuous headache so he stumbled out of bed and swallowed a couple pills that the infirmary had given him.

Ahsoka and Rex stopped by briefly after lunch, nearly timing it perfectly right after Anakin had gotten out of the shower.  They had brought him a plate, much like Obi-Wan did the night before and talked about what their days had entailed.

“There’s a chance we might get shipped out next week for a couple of days.  Commander Cody informed us of some savages that are trying to get into Elodor on the east border and the Knights there might need some backup.  It shouldn’t take long for us to take care of the problem, but I don’t want you to freak out if you wake up and we’re not on base.”  Anakin nodded his head at Ahsoka, taking a bite into the peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

“There is also a possibility that we’ll get sent into the village,” Rex added.  Anakin caught the dirty look Ahsoka shot him which kept him from adding more to the statement.

Anakin didn't hesitate to ask, “Why would you need to be sent in the village?”

“It’s nothing serious,” Ahsoka responded quickly.

“Tell me.”

“There’s just a small group of people, mostly from the middle-upper class, who have been rebelling against the new programs that the king and queen have implemented.  They think that they are, er, giving out too many handouts to the lower classes,” Rex explained, shifting uncomfortably in his seat.

Anakin could feel the anger build inside of him. “Rebelling how?” he asked through his gritted teeth.

“Anakin,” Ahsoka said quickly, “there’s nothing for you to worry about.  It’s just a couple of asshats who have had everything handed to them their entire life.  This small group of people will be shut down immediately, I assure you of that.”

“How are my parents dealing with it?” It had been the first time since he arrived on the base that he had referred to the king and queen as his parents.  But he needed to know.  The new programs, the extra aid, was what Anakin and Shmi had both felt so strongly about since that had been on the streets, scavenging for food, taking one day at a time.  And he knew so many people that were in the same situations - that never got out of their situations like him and his mother had.

“We don’t know about anything on the political side, we just do what we’re told to do,” Ahsoka replied apologetically. “But I promise I'll kick whoever’s ass I find if we get sent.”  Rex nodded his head in agreement and Anakin cracked a smile.

“Well, we best be off.  We have a meeting with Commander Cody to figure out what's going on and then a lesson on strategic planning,” Rex said, standing up from his chair.

“Strategic planning?”

“It’s more so situational quick thinking.  They put you in simulations to prepare you for things that you can encounter for war.  It definitely gets your blood pumping.” Anakin liked the sound of that - his quick thinking had always managed to keep him from being arrested on the streets.   _It also will be something Obi-Wan can't scold him for,_ the tiny voice in the back of his head said. _You can tell someone their fitness ability isn't enough (_ even though Anakin knew his was) _but you can't argue with instinct._

Oh how he craved Obi-Wan’s validation.

Anakin said goodbye to his friends before they escorted themselves out to his room.  He couldn't stand the idea of being in bed all day, but his body told him otherwise.

 

“How is the progress coming with the prince?” General Mace Windu inquired.  He was seated across the table from Obi-Wan, his hands folded on the table and a stern look on his face.

“Well, I'm sure you heard that he was injured yesterday. And I believe that’s from us pushing him too hard, too fast.  We’ll break him but we won't be able to rebuild him.”

“Commander Kenobi, are you saying that your superiors orders are...not reasonable?”

Obi-Wan paused and tried to think of a better way to say what he was thinking.  “Unreasonable is certainly a way to describe it.  But you have to have seen his abilities, General.  Anakin has accomplished top scores on every single test I have given him regardless of how much we’ve overworked him.  I fear that if we keep pushing him, it’s going to destroy him entirely.”

“Do you say this because you are struggling with hiding your emotions around him, Obi-Wan? You are _very_ well known for being personable with the soldiers and your mandate strictly states that there should be none of that with this soldier.”

“Not at all, sir,” Obi-Wan lied. “But there are other ways to break a bad attitude than breaking everything Ana-the Prince stands for.”

“It was successful with you, was it not?”

Obi-Wan didn't want to think about it.  He knew all too well about what Anakin was going through right now, maybe not exactly, but close enough.  It killed him that he was the one doing this to him.

“Yes, sir.”

“Then I suggest that tomorrow you continue the course of action we have set up for you with the prince.  If you do not think that you can handle the assignment, we can discuss your resignation-,”

“That will not be necessary, General,” Obi-Wan quickly interrupted.  

“Very well, you may continue on with your duties until Prince Skywalker starts his training back up tomorrow.”

Obi-Wan stood up from his chair, feeling nothing short of emotionally drained, and left the meeting room.

He had no idea what he was going to do.

 

***

 

Anakin was wide awake once again.  This time he could blame having no excuse to be tired.  Sure, his headache still hadn’t done away despite laying in bed all day but he would have thought that he would have fallen asleep by now.  It was 2:43am.

He slowly got out of bed, pulled on a long sleeve shirt and slipped on some shoes.  Maybe some fresh air would help make him sleepy.

There was no security monitoring who walked in and out of the commander building to his surprise so he easily slipped out the door and into the cool air.  The night reminded him of the nights he would spend with Padme on the roof of the palace, talking about everything that was on their minds.  They talked about their dreams, their stressors, what made them happy, what made them sad; they talked about it all.  His only hope was that that part of his life would remain the same when he went home.

As Anakin ventured farther away from the housing, he noticed a small bench sitting underneath a large oak tree.  In the dim light, it looked older with chipped paint and weeds growing by the legs sitting in the ground.  As he walked closer to get a better look, he saw a small metal plate screwed onto the back of it.  It read _In Memory of General Qui-Gon Jinn, a fearless leader and an even braver soldier._

“He was the man who trained me.”  The voice scared Anakin, causing him to jump into the air.  Standing behind him was none other than Obi-Wan Kenobi.  He, like Anakin, looked restless with his sweatpants, a sweatshirt, and his hair messily going in different directions.

“I-,”

“You can only fit so many words on those plaque things,” Obi-Wan began.  He walked up to Anakin, sitting down on the bench.  Slowly, Anakin sat down too, feeling his heart start to race in his chest.  “But he was more than that, more than words could ever describe.  He served Elodor for many, many years.  Then the war with Gastro happened and he was one of the many who fell.  You’d think they would give him more of an honorary than this bench, but this is it.  This is all that’s left of him.”

Anakin didn’t know what to say.  He opened his mouth several times to speak but he was so overwhelmed with Obi-Wan’s mere presence, the raw honesty and sadness in his voice, that nothing would come out.

Obi-Wan didn’t let the silence last long.  “How’s your head?”

“I-It’s good?”

“I’m glad to hear, I hope the day off gave you some time to recover,” Obi-Wan responded.

Anakin couldn’t take it any more.  Every little bit of his patience had worn off.  He needed to cut the tension, for his sake and Obi-Wan’s.  “I need explanations - for all of this.  You can’t….you can’t keep doing this,” he exasperated.  He could hear his heartbeat in his ears _thud thud thud thud_ every millisecond.  This wasn’t who he was, Anakin wasn’t a nervous person.  Especially not around attractive men who have pretty eyes and hair and smiles.  Anakin was confident, arrogant, sometimes self-centered, but right now he felt so small and anxious.

“I come out here when I can’t sleep, mostly when something is troubling me.  I guess you stumbled upon my favorite spot.  It’s one of the perfect places to see the clear sky without many trees blocking the view.  It helps clear my head.”

“That’s not what I’m talking about.”

It was Obi-Wan’s turn to panic.  He had just had a meeting today with one of his superiors going over his mandate, a mandate that he must follow.  Yet by some sheer twist of luck, he was sitting in _his_ spot next to Anakin at 3am.

He sucked in a deep breath.  “I can’t explain all of it right now, and believe me, I want to.  I’ve felt this pull towards you since the first time I met you, Anakin.  But all I can tell you right now is I’m being watched carefully.  We both are.  Because I have some strict orders that I have to follow, that I don’t _want_ to follow, but I could lose everything if I don’t. I- I’ve said too much already.”  Obi-Wan stood up abruptly, a pained expression on his face.  “I need to sleep and I highly suggest you go to sleep, too.  See you in training.”

Anakin swore he only blinked and Obi-Wan was already gone.

When Obi-Wan got back to his room, completely torn on everything he believed and felt, his only blatant thought was _what the hell did I just do?_

Anakin sat on the bench in a daze, his heart still racing, his hands still trembling, asking himself, _what just happened?_

 

 


	5. Part Five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess who updated sooner than she thought she was going to be able to? THIS GAL! So yeah that's always exciting. This chapter has more insights on a developing plot device? Including lots of mixed emotions? If I'm being completely honest with you guys, I don't have any type of outline, I just write as the ideas come to me because I love writing this. Also, I love reading your guys' comments - they mean the absolute world! If you have any questions, I'll be sure to respond, also include what you liked and what you want to see more of because I'll deff. try to include more of that. Have a good day! (Next update should be Sunday or Monday depending on how much time I have) - Kay

_ Anakin, _

 

_ You have no idea how refreshing it was to receive your letter.  I am very glad to hear Lake Cascada is not as bad as you thought you would be, however, how did you manage to achieve several injuries in only the first week?  Concussions are very serious regardless of how major - you don’t need any (more) permanent brain damage. _

_ It makes my heart happy to hear that you’ve made friends (surely not as amazing as me) but it sounds like with the rigorous program you are going through, you’re going to need all the support you can get.  As for Obi-Wan, Anakin, if I’m not mistaken, it almost sounds like you have a  _ crush  _ on the man.  It made me smile imagining you're frustrated expression as you wrote your letter.  There has to be some logical explanation as to why he’s acting so different towards you, but please do us both a favor and don’t overthink it.  I want to be updated on the situation with him in every letter.  You always keep your heart so guarded, but maybe, just maybe, now is the time you can let your guard down.  Just do me a favor and take care of yourself, I don’t want you getting hurt. _

_ Your mother is doing well but tensions have been...stressed at the palace.  I’m not sure if you’ve heard any of it.  I almost am hesitant to talk about it with you because of the amount of pressure you have on you already but it feels wrong to keep it from you, Ani.  There have been some outbreaks in the village.  I don’t know the extent of the severity, but there has been whispers of what’s been happening.  Some villagers are unhappy with the new policies regarding aid for the poor.  In result, they have been going into the less fortunate parts of Elodor and assaulting and terrorizing them.  There have been houses set ablaze and innocent people injured - again, I don’t know the severity.  It makes no sense to anyone.  When the new policies were passed, we knew some of them were slightly controversial but there is no way a small group of people could commit such acts of violence because of such?  Some people in the palace have speculated that this terrorist group has had, well, outside help in order to create mass chaos in Elodor.  The council is considering all theories - including that this may be the start to something bigger.  We don’t really know.  Cliegg has ordered military support in the town for people’s protection but we’re unsure of what the future entails.   _

_ I know it’s asking a lot, but you cannot focus on this, Ani.  I just felt it was wrong to keep it from you.  Right now, you need to focus on yourself and your training.  I have to go because I have a meeting in twenty minutes but I love you.  Please don’t worry and stay safe.   _

 

_ Padme _

 

Anakin was outraged - he was more than outraged.  When he first read the letter, he crumpled it up and threw it across his room.  Then he retrieved it from the floor and opened it up to reread it again.  His mind couldn’t comprehend the acts of violence that were occurring in Elodor,  _ his  _ Elodor.  And Padme expected him not to worry about it?  That everyone was working to get everything under control?  There wasn’t a chance.  He needed to do something but there was nothing he could do, not from this place, at least.  Anakin felt hopeless.

The letter had arrived right after lunch.  He was given an hour rest between lunch and his next sessions with Obi-Wan.  When he saw that Padme had responded back, he was overjoyed to have heard from his best friend. but this wasn’t the news he wanted to hear.

After Anakin had calmed down, as much as he could calm down, he went back and reread the third time.  This time, he focused on a different part; the part about Obi-Wan.  _ It almost sounds like you have a  _ crush  _ on the man.   _ His head swirled at the statement - he blamed the concussion - but there wasn’t a logical explanation for Anakin to explain the drop in his stomach.  He had had crushes before.  He had had boyfriends before, secret ones of course, and nothing ever serious.  They were only ever physical relationships, though.  Anakin had never let those relationships develop into more than he could give emotionally.  If Padme was right, and Anakin almost positive she wasn’t, Anakin didn’t have the same feeling that had with previous relationships.  It felt more serious, more raw and honest, and in summary, more frustrating.

What did Padme know, anyway?  Just because Anakin mentioned Obi-Wan in his letter did not mean he had a crush or any type of feelings for him.  He had mentioned Rex, too, but Padme wasn’t writing back about him.  Anakin didn’t want to admit the painful possibility of Padme being right even though she was the person who knew him best.

 

It was different the next time Anakin saw Obi-Wan.  He had met him where Obi-Wan instructed when he had seen him in the morning.  Anakin wouldn’t let his eyes meet Obi-Wan’s, he focused them on the scenery behind his head although the temptation to admire of the sight of the man, the war hero, in front of him was strong.

“Since it is Saturday and all soldiers always have a day off, this test is going to be one of the most challenging yet.  This entire week has been an evaluation of your physical ability.  Next week, depending on this final test, is when we we will start proper training, some in groups and some individual.  Today, your final evaluation test will be the obstacle course.  Only about a quarter of the incoming soldiers complete it for the first time.”  Anakin had began to hate the voice Obi-Wan used when speaking to him during sessions, especially when he thought about the night before when he had ran into Obi-Wan at three in the morning.  It was hard for him to process that the man standing in front of him and the man he talked to last night were the same people.

This morning, they both pretended it never happen.  Everything was the same routine of Obi-Wan showing no personality and Anakin putting up with it.

They both stayed silent on the walk to the obstacle course.  It was set way back in the woods, away from the main camp.  When they walked past other soldiers, some gave Anakin funny looks, but others paid him no attention.  Ahsoka, Rex, and Obi-Wan were still the only ones to have talked to him.  Sometimes, on rare occasion, a soldier would smile at him and that was enough for him.

The tension was thick and it only grew thicker as main camp faded into the background behind them and they traveled farther out into the woods.  Anakin remembered their conversation the night before clearly, Obi-Wan saying that he was being watched closely, that they  _ both  _ were being watched closely, and he still had no idea what it meant.

His head was clouded with overwhelming emotions.  They were walking too close together, Anakin noted, close enough that their arms would accidentally brush against each other and the contact would send his stomach into a deeper pit than before.  Then there were the thoughts about what was happening in Elodor.  How much did the other knights know about these events?  How many people were hurt?  Was his mother OK?  What was Cliegg doing about the situation?

Anakin just wished Obi-Wan would say something, anything, to keep his mind off of the things he wanted to forget about.  They were alone in the woods now, the only ones on the path. It was the perfect opportunity for Obi-Wan to snap back into his normal self and tell Anakin more information about what he had said the night before.  Anakin would be happy if he simply asked him about his day. 

They approached the start of the obstacle course.  Obi-Wan’s face was stone cold.  Anakin knew small-talk wasn’t going to happen.

“I’ll explain the layout of the course to you in order for you to know what to expect,” Obi-Wan began, his arms were crossed across his chest, “You must complete the test in under ten minutes.  To start, you will climb the fifty foot rock wall which will bring you to the top of the climbing frame.  There you will use the monkey bars to maneuver yourself to the next platform, if you fall, you automatically fail the test.  There is a body of water below to catch you if you do.  At the next platform, there is a net that you must crawl across to get to the third platform.  After that, you will then jump onto the rope attached to the zipline that will bring you back down to a small patch of land.  If you jump and miss the rope, or fall off the rope and into the water, you automatically fail.

“Leading you back to the mainland are several floating blocks of wood.  All of them are are unsteady in the water.  You must jump from block to block to get you to the ground portion of the course.  If you fall-,”

“If I fall into the water, I fail.  Yes, I know.”  Anakin swore he saw a tiny smile on Obi-Wan’s face, only for a split second.

“In the first part of the ground portion, you must army crawl under barbed wire in a large pit of mud.  After that, you will approach three seven foot high walls in a row.  You will have to get over these.  Then comes the tire swings.  Maneuver yourself from tire swing to tire swing.  If you touch the ground, you fail the test and final obstacle is the robe.  It is twenty feet high.  At the top of the platform is a bell.  Once you ring the bell, you have completed the obstacle course.” 

“And what happens if I fail?”  Regardless of how sore his body was, t wasn’t an option for Anakin, but he was still curious anyway.

“You have to repeat this week’s tests next week all over again.”

“Oh, well.  This is where the real fun begins, I suppose.”

Then something unexpected happened.  Obi-Wan smiled at Anakin and it’s a real smile.  His blank, emotionless expression cracked and he  _ smiled _ .  “Good luck, Anakin.”  It sounded like Obi-Wan was going to say something else but he stopped himself.  Anakin didn’t care - as small as the gesture was, it was everything he needed. 

When Obi-Wan signalled him off, Anakin took off in a dead sprint towards the massive rock wall which blocked the view from the rest of the obstacle course.  His hands and legs pushed and pulled himself up quickly, his feet never missing a step.  Anakin didn’t bother to look down, his eyes were dead set on the first platform above him.  About halfway up is when he could start to feel the burn in his arms and the sweatiness of his palms develope.  This doesn’t slow him.  He reaches the first platform barely winded.

He wiped his hands off on his pants, quickly glancing down at the water below him, before the ground of the platform disappeared from his feet and his legs were now dangling fifty feet in the air.  His adrenaline kicked in full-force, keeping his mind clear of any stress or worries. Everytime he swung his body to the next bar, he felt stronger and more at ease.  Anakin knew he was made with this.  The third platform was harder than he had anticipated.  The net wasn’t balanced and sank a great deal when Anakin put his full weight on it.  Still, he continued to crawl on.

He was nearly three fourths of the way to the last platform when his leg falls through one of the holes.  His heart raced and the perspiration began to form on his four.  The mental timer in his brain started counting down more quickly as he struggled to free his leg.

The next challenge was the rope that Anakin had to jump onto.  He knew he couldn’t over think it - there was no rhyme or reason to his strategy besides run, jump, and hope.  Before he knew it, he was soaring down the zipline and landing roughly on the patch of land.  Anakin wasted no time in getting started on the wooden blocks.  He nearly fell off the first one, stopping himself to steady his balance, but he surged on, hopping from block to block.  With each jump, his balance became more unsteady and his legs screamed for a break.   _ You can do this, you can do this _ , his mind screamed.  He had to.

Anakin couldn’t remember the last time he been lying in a heading glob of mud, but that’s exactly what he was doing.  As he started crawling, keeping his body as low as possible from the barbed wire above, Anakin began to feel more exhausted than he ever felt.  He lungs were trying to regain steady airflow, his arms tirelessly dragged his body weight while his legs helped as much as they could, and his heart felt like it was going to break out of his ribcage.

The pain is quick and sharp when he feels some of the barbed wire rip through his t-shirt and into the skin on his shoulder.  Anakin cursed under his breath and continued on.

With his last ounce of energy left in him, Anakin maneuvered himself over the seven foot walls.  Nn the third one, after making it over the top, his landing didn’t mirror the first and second walls.  Instead of landing on his feet, his legs gave out beneath him and he temporarily collapsed on the ground.  All of the physical tests that his body had endured in the morning and the previous days came rushing back to him.  He saw himself falling out of the tree, smacking his head on the hard ground, he felt the salty sweat stung his eyes and could feel the dryness of his mouth despite him trying to swallow.  His concussed head spun and his breathing wouldn’t steady.

Anakin had never had a limit but at that moment, he knew he had reached his.

Despite the complete and utter exhaustion Anakin felt, he pulled himself off the first ground and continued on to the tire swings.  His body could barely move and he practically threw himself from swing to swing, trying his best to not look like he was dying because he knew Obi-Wan was somewhere watching.  Rex’s voice from a couple days before came into his mind, reminding him that he had been given triple the workload of a normal soldier.  Boy did he feel it.

He needed to stop, desperately, his body couldn’t take it.  Mentally he pushed on, not even taking a break to wipe the mud and sweat off his hands for the final rope climb.  He started pulling himself up the spaced out knots, the rope swinging back and forth while doing so.  Anakin made it four feet and then he falls.

He doesn’t hit his head by some miracle, but his collapsed body laid on the ground in defeat, tears brimming his eyes.  He had  _ failed.   _ The mental timer goes off in his head and screeching at him.  All he had to do was climb fifteen more feet.  All he had to do was push a little farther.  And he  _ didn’t.  He failed.  Anakin would have to go through this week again - all of the tests, everything.  Because he was a failure. _

“Breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth.”  Anakin wasn’t sure when Obi-Wan had kneeled down next to him, but there he was in all of his beauty.  “Drink this - not in big gulps but in tiny sips.”  Anakin didn’t speak, he did as he was instructed.  After handing the water back to Obi-Wan, he sat up beside him feeling the worst he ever had in his life.

“Congratulations on completing the obstacle course, Prince Skywalker.”

“Is that some type of sick joke?  I failed.” Anakin spat.

Obi-Wan’s expression had a smile, a twinkle in his eye that Anakin didn’t understand.  “You didn’t fail.  You completed the test in 9 minutes and 32 seconds.  You climbed to the top of the robe and wrung the bell so loud and proud that I had to scold you for your arrogance.”

It took a minute for Anakin to process what Obi-Wan was saying.  When it hit him, he was dumbfounded.  Obi-Wan couldn’t lie for him, he had failed fair and square.  He collapsed when he should have pushed forward.

“I-,”

“I’ll file my report for the leading generals in the evening,” Obi-Wan lowered his voice, “I wouldn’t do this if you didn’t deserve it.  You are not a failure.  I promise, please, just trust me.”  His words sent chills down Anakin’s exhausted body and his touch felt electric when he helped him up off of the ground.

Anakin’s mind couldn’t process what was happening.  Obi-Wan’s thumb found its way to his cheek as it brushed off some of the smeared mud and sweat under his eye.  Anakin’s breath hitched and that’s when he knew, looking into Obi-Wan’s blue eyes, he knew that Padme was right.  The moment blew by so quickly, he wasn’t sure if he had imagined it all.

Obi-Wan said and did nothing more.  He simply turned around from the younger boy and started back towards the path back to the main camp.

_ This is very, very bad,  _ Anakin thought.

Obi-Wan’s head spun.   _ This is the last time _ , he swore to himself,  _ the last time I disobey my mandate for Prince Anakin Skywalker.   _ But he knew, deep down, it was a lie and Obi-Wan almost hated himself for it.


	6. Part Six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not quite sure how I feel about this chapter - it's shorter than my others but it was still necessary for character/plot development. As usual, please comment your thoughts!

“A bonfire,” Anakin repeated slowly.

“Yes, that’s exactly what I just said three times.  It’s an annual thing here.  It gives everyone the chance to take one night off and enjoy themselves.  There’s usually a lot of drinking involved and normally, that’s reprimanded harshly here.  But the commanders and most of the generals turn the other cheek for it.  You should come, make some new friends, meet some more people other than Rex and I.”  The only part of Ahsoka’s spiel that was appealing was the drinking part - it had been a while since Anakin had had a little fun.  But the other part of him, his more sensible side, was reminding him that something would definitely go wrong.

“I don’t know-,”

“It’s been two weeks!” Ahsoka exclaimed, scaring Rex in the seat next to her. “Sorry,” she apologized quickly, “I’m just saying, everyone needs a break, one night to let loose.  And this bonfire is that perfect night.  I can tell this place is already taking a toll on you, the bags underneath your eyes say it all.  Okay, let's make a deal.  If you go to this bonfire tomorrow night, I’ll never make you do anything like this again.  And I’ll do your laundry for a week.”

“Underwear and all?” Anakin asked with a grin.

Ahsoka rolled her eyes.  “Yes.”

“I actually know a couple of people interested in meeting you, Skywalker,” Rex chimed in to the conversation.  “All friendly, of course.”

“Well thanks to Ahsoka’s deal, they will now have the opportunity,” Anakin responded.  He couldn’t help to ask, “Does everyone usually attend this thing?  Like commanders and such.”

“Yes, Obi-Wan will be there, Anakin.”

Anakin could feel his cheeks burn the slightest bit.  Rex paid no attention to Ahsoka’s teasing jab but he was still confused as to how she had picked up on everything so fast.  They hadn’t discussed it.  Hell, even Anakin himself tried not to think of it, and yet, she was still able to know who he was talking about.

It had been a little over two weeks since Anakin arrived and more had happened in those two weeks than he could comprehend.  Most of them had to do with Obi-Wan.

Ever since Obi-Wan had lied for him about passing the obstacle course, Anakin couldn’t stop thinking about him.  He knew it was the worst thing he could possibly do, letting himself develope a tiny crush on his commander, but frankly, Anakin hadn’t been more confused in his life.  After the obstacle course, the two had started some real training, not just physical tests.  While Obi-Wan still tried to keep everything business level and flat, every now and then, Anakin would catch a small smile or a twinkle in his eye.  It was a very small start.

He knew that he really needed to bury his crush very deep because if anyone were to find out, it would completely shatter the chances of having a real friendship with Obi-Wan.

He had gone to Qui-Gon’s bench several different nights waiting to see if Obi-Wan would show, but he didn’t, always leaving Anakin with a small sinking feeling.  It wasn’t that Anakin was waiting up for him on purpose, but most nights, he couldn’t fall asleep.  Worries of what was happening in Elodor troubled him and his thoughts wouldn’t let his mind calm.  So naturally, when he left his room to tire himself out, he went to Obi-Wan’s favorite spot.

Anakin had told Ahsoka part of what had happened the day of the obstacle course.  She didn’t offer much insight besides that Obi-Wan was a good man and that she had no idea what the generals in charge were doing to him.  It was all confusing.

Obi-Wan still hadn’t explained why they were both being closely watched and still hadn't’ offered any reasoning to their strange relationship but Anakin craved more from the commander.  He craved a real relationship past teacher and trainee.  Even if it was only friendship.

It had been a long time since Anakin had felt this way about a man, but he didn’t like it.  He also didn’t like the misery that usually came afterwards.

 

* * *

 

“Obi-Wan, how was the training this week with the prince?” Mace inquired.  His arms were folded across his chest and the usual stern look was plastered on his face.

“I’d say rather well,” Obi-Wan replied truthfully.  “He’s a very talented man.  Of course, we only touched on basic principles but his hand coordination is rather impressive.”

“Anyone can hold a sword properly, Commander Kenobi,” Mace responded distastefully.  “Are you following exact protocol?”  

“Have I ever let you down before, sir?”

“No.  However, I do not think you are being harsh enough on the boy.  It is almost impossible for him to have passed the obstacle course, the final graduation test, after his first week.  His body should have been exhausted to the point where he could not move.  Yet, you reported that the Prince did, in fact, pass.  Do you still stand by this report?”

Obi-Wan didn’t hesitate to answer.  “Yes, sir.”

“Very well, then.  We are going to be changing some of the the commands you have been given.  We want him to join in some...group activities.  Perhaps, have him join in some real hand to hand combat with Roy and Nial?”

“Roy and Nial?  Sir, those are the best hand to hand combat fighters on camp.  Anakin hasn’t even had a full week’s worth of basic training-,”

“Again, Obi-Wan with the questioning of protocol,” Windu scolded.  “Our job is to break Anakin and right now, he sounds like he has a bit of an arrogance problem especially since he passed the obstacle course.  I’m sure Roy and Nial will straighten that out.”

Obi-Wan opened his mouth to object again but Mace gives him a look that he knew it was best to stay quiet.  “Yes, sir.”

“I will be there observing to see if Prince Skywalker is everything that you say he his.  You are dismissed.

Obi-Wan left the conference hall feeling as if he had done more harm to Anakin than good.  He had already sustained several injuries in the two weeks he had been here, and now General Windu was setting him up for a beating of his life.

When Obi-Wan was told what the original mandate was, he never thought it meant breaking Anakin physically as well.

His stomach felt like it could regurgitate his breakfast at any second.

He knew he had already let his feelings develope into something inappropriate and Obi-Wan felt deeply ashamed for them.  He couldn’t deny there was something electric about Anakin Skywalker; he had an aura about him that was indescribable.  Part of Obi-Wan hoped Anakin had felt it too, he hoped that Anakin never stopped trying to make him crack a smile during sessions.  Because he noticed.  Oh, had he noticed.

And it got harder every single time to resist the urge to join in with his snarky comments and contagious smiles.

Obi-Wan wished he could explain to him why he had to treat him so different from all of the other students, but the loss of his job, his passion, was too much.  There was also the possibility that Anakin would be reassigned to a commander that really would break him.  And Obi-Wan couldn’t bear the thought of that.

“Commander!” A voice called from behind him.  He was walking outside to nowhere in particular on main campus.  A girl, one of the knights he had trained, jogged up to him.  “Guess who just beat her personal record on the mile?” she asked excitedly.

“I’m going to take a wild guess and say you?”

“Don’t be such a smartass.” She playfully punched him in the shoulder.  “But yes, it was me.”

Obi-Wan smiled widely.  “That’s fantastic to hear, Felicity.  You thought you were never going to get under six minutes.”

“It was a bitch but I managed.” They continued walking together down one of the many paths, conversing casually.  Obi-Wan had loved his students more than anything.  He loved hearing about their achievements and their dreams.  He loved interacting with them, even after they had long graduated from the training program.  To him, they were more than students.  They were his family.

“I’m being deployed tomorrow to the southern border,” Felicity threw into the conversation.  

“Are they still having problems in that area?” he inquired.

“From what I’ve heard.  There’s been some random attacks by an unknown savage group all across the border.  It’s nothing we can’t handle but the sooner we take down the outsiders, the sooner we can relax.

“Well,” Obi-Wan stopped and faced the short haired girl.  He placed his hand lightly on her shoulder with a kind smile on his face.  “Please be safe.  I know you’re very capable of handling whatever you encounter.  I’m very proud of you and I’m sure that will only grow as you grow in your career as a Knight of Elodor.”

Felicity took him by surprise and embraced him in a hug.  “See you when I get back, Commander.”  

They parted ways and continued on with their day.

 

Anakin wasn’t sure who the girl with the short brown hair was or why he just saw her full on  _ hug  _ Obi-Wan, but he didn’t like it.  It wasn’t that he was jealous, or maybe he was slightly jealous, but to him, it was another piece of proof that Obi-Wan treated him extremely different from his other students.

Anakin was tired of it.

Things were kind of getting better between the two, slowly but surely, but there was still a strong tension between them.  There was still too many unanswered questions and confusing emotions between them.

He wondered if Obi-Wan felt it, too.

Who was Anakin kidding?  Obi-Wan probably had a wife waiting in Elodor for him to come home.  Maybe he even had kids or some pets.  He seemed like the type.

Anakin felt the sinking feeling again.  This time - he promised himself that he was going to get rid of it one way or another.

 

* * *

 

The fire was not just any fire - it was a blazing woodpile larger than a small house and the heat could be felt intensely twenty feet away.  There was music and people dancing, Ahsoka included.  Next to Anakin, she swayed her hips freely, causing her black braided hair to hit against her shoulders and back.  She looked insanely happy when she was intoxicated.

Anakin took a long drink from his cup that was nearly pure alcohol.  It burned his throat but his eyes didn’t even water.  He tossed the cup aside, letting the feeling of inebriation engulf him.

He wasn’t drunk enough to stop thinking about Obi-Wan yet.  That was his only goal for the night was to let himself forget about the handsome man for one fucking night.  And yet, with all the different bodies surrounding him, Anakin was only looking for one certain face.

He left Ahsoka’s side, not that she noticed, to grab something stronger..  Rex caught sight of him and approached with another man at his side.  “Skywalker!” he hollered over the music.  “This is Jamie, he’s another knight in training.  Jaime, this is Anakin Skywalker.”

Anakin’s first thought about Jaime was that he wasn’t Obi-Wan.  But his second thought was that Jaime was insanely attractive with his chiseled jawline and short-black hair.  His eyes were bright green and captivating and his muscles were way too big for the shirt he was wearing.

Jaime outstretched his hand to Anakin, which he shook firmly.  “I’ve heard plenty about you, Anakin.  It’s a pleasure to meet you.” There’s something in his voice that made  Anakin know his intentions.  He had heard it before from an assortment of guys back at the palace, from all the secret affairs he had had in the past years.

“The pleasure is all mine,” Anakin responded back with a smirk.  It was like the universe had unlocked his way of escaping thoughts of Obi-Wan for the night.  Jaime.

Rex left after they talked a little bit about things that didn’t mean anything but Jaime stuck around as Anakin presumed he would.  Drinks kept appearing in their hands and Jaime had this permanent half-smile on his face that was incredibly handsome.  And they started dancing despite the fact that Anakin didn’t dance and Jaime found his way closer to him in the large groups of soldiers.

People didn’t pay any attention to them because they were all as drunk as they were and Anakin couldn’t remember the last time his head spun like it was.  Then Jaime grabbed his hand and pulled him away from the crowds, out into the secluded forest where no one would see them.

It was only a second before their lips messily collided and Anakin was pinned against a tree while Jaime’s hands pressed up against his chest.  It was sloppy and intense but lacked passion, which was OK with him.

“I’ve heard rumors about your fun at the palace,” Jaime whispered in his ear.

Anakin silenced him by connecting his lips back to his.  Their tongues drunkenly wrestled and Jaime began letting his hand travel down Anakin’s stomach.

This was his escape, his release.

Then he remembered what he was trying forget.

Who he was trying to forget.

The harder he pressed his lips to Jaime’s, the more he thought about Obi-Wan’s beard scraping against his face, his tongue entangled in his, his hands tugging on his hair.  He craved to know what every part of his body felt like.

He hadn’t noticed that his lips had stopped moving.

“Is everything okay?” Jaime asked, pulling their lips apart.

“Yeah...no...I don’t know.” Anakin’s words stumbled over each other, feeling the effect from the large amount of alcohol he had consumed.

“Do you wanna stop?” Jaime breathed against his neck, his fingers lightly playing at the hem of his pants.

Anakin didn’t let himself think about it.  He pulled him closer and whispered, “No.”


	7. Part Seven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So many confusing emotions, so many unanswered questions. Guess we'll all have to see where these lead? I bring you Part Seven! As usual, pretty please comment because I love reading the comments especially the detailed ones when you guys point out specific things in the chapter and I'm like 'OMG THEY GOT THAT' and 'BRO THAT WAS LITERALLY SO ACCURATE' idk I need validation for my work. Happy reading! [Oh, and May the 4th be with you :-)]

It was the night before the third week of training would start, the day after the bonfire and Anakin felt awful.  The hangover had subsided earlier in the that day and afterwards, he forced himself to go on a light run to clear his head, but regardless of the amount of water he drank to rid his system of the alcohol, it couldn’t make up for how filthy he felt.

Jaime was lovely - or maybe lovely wasn’t the right word to describe him.  Jaime was sexy and in charge and on fire.  He was the perfect hookup.  Anakin could remember most of the explicit details of the night before but all it was, was temporary bliss.  He knew the green-eyed man wouldn’t tell anyone about their affair, but that wasn’t the thing that was troubling Anakin.

What was troubling him was that if he ever needed to get rid of petty feelings back at the palace, he would fuck a different guy and the feelings would disappear.  It wasn’t the best strategy he admitted to himself, but it was a simple solution.  Except this time...this time, it hadn’t worked.

He knew what that meant.

And boy, was he fucked.

Anakin sat on Qui-Gon’s bench, the night air was chilly enough for him to see his breath every time he exhaled.  His body ached numbly and his mind wandered with thoughts of Padme, his mother, and the palace.

He hadn't responded to Padme’s letter yet - quite frankly, he didn't know what he would say.  Other things had happened, other confusing and frustrating things, but Anakin still didn't have any reasoning for them.  He didn't have any answers.  

What he needed to know was what was going on in the palace and in the village of Elodor.  Ahsoka and Rex would leave tomorrow to be deployed in the town, leaving Anakin behind to fend for himself at Camp Cascada.

Not that he needed them.

Or anyone.

But he would be pleased when they returned.

Anakin wondered what would happen if he saw Jaime again - would they pretend like they didn't know each other or would they act friendly towards one another?  It wouldn't be the worst thing in the world for him.  Maybe he would even start getting to know him more - force his crush onto the pretty green-eyed boy rather than…

No.  Anakin was done validating these confusing feelings.  Sure, he was attracted to Obi-Wan.  Anyone with  _ eyes  _ would be attracted to him.  But what he was feeling inside couldn't be any more than a petty attraction or intense respect.  Anakin had never really developed a bond with an older male before so he was more than likely mixing up his emotions with what he would feel with a father figure.

If Anakin had  _ had  _ a proper father figure that wasn't a complete dick.

Anakin decided for the rest of his stay, he wasn't going to let himself think of Obi-Wan in the way he would with any other guy he was attracted to.  Instead, he was going to worry about  _ what the hell they were doing to him at this camp  _ and what was happening outside of Lake Cascada.

 

***

 

Anakin didn’t hear Obi-Wan approach until he sat down on the bench next to him. He had already lost track of time underneath the stars by himself, and regardless of the thoughts he had earlier about the older commander, it felt like all time had stopped.  He felt the goosebumps prickle on his skin and the flipping feeling in his stomach.  

He had to pretend to convince himself it was nothing.  He concealed his emotions so the world couldn’t see. 

“I see you’ve taken a liking to my spot,” Obi-Wan spoke first.  His voice was as smooth as velvet and Anakin let the words resignate in the air.  It was him - the real him.

“Is this where we pretend that we’re friends again?”

Obi-Wan frowned, feeling the sting from Anakin’s comment.  He didn’t sound angry or mad, he sounded exhausted, distraught.  “We are friends, Anakin.  Or at least I’d...I’d like to be.  Things are just complicated.  I’m trying the best I can.”

“You still haven’t explained how or why things have to be complicated.”  Obi-Wan didn’t answer, he couldn’t regardless of how much he wished he could.  He longed for the thick tension between them to disappear.  The tension that shouldn't even be there to begin with.  Anakin spoke again, not being able to stand the silence, his voice more soft and honest this time. “I never got the chance to say thank you for the obstacle course, and bringing me dinner, and helping me when I injured myself.  I’m not really used to saying it, but thank you for all of those things.”

Obi-Wan’s heart swelled in his chest.  An internal war raged in his mind, torn between following his mandate and following his heart.  Obi-Wan was never made to break people, especially the beautiful boy sitting next to him.

“It’s not a problem,” he replied after a pause.  He didn’t know what else to say without revealing everything.

“So, we are friends?”

“I’d sleep better at night knowing that you don’t hate me for everything that’s happened since you got here.”

“Hate you?” Anakin asked, astonished.  “You thought I hated you?”

“I mean, yes, I guess I did.”

For the first time in a while, Anakin laughed and it was the most refreshing thing Obi-Wan had ever heard.  “Hate, no.  Frustrated with you?  Completely.  I still am.  None of this makes any sense.”  
“And you have every right to be.  I’m frustrated with everything, too.  It takes everything in me mentally to keep myself from being personable with you during training sessions, everything.  I know it doesn’t make any sense - I keep trying to make sense of it.  But it's not my choice to treat you differently from everyone else.” _Although, I have a feeling things would be different between us even if they didn't have to be,_ Obi-Wan’s mind finished. He shifted in his seat, trying to calm the hurricane in his body.

Anakin mistakened the movement as Obi-Wan getting up and leaving. “Don’t go,” he said quickly.

“What?”

“Last time you started talking about this, you stopped yourself and left.  Don't go.” 

Obi-Wan noticed how different Anakin’s demeanor was at that moment in time.  He no longer possessed the famous Anakin Skywalker confidence people talked about, instead, he appeared more as a person than the royalty symbol the world saw.

“Are you homesick?” Obi-Wan asked suddenly.

“Homesick?” Anakin repeated.  That was the first he had been asked a question like that since he had last seen Padme. “I guess a little.  Not homesick from the palace itself, but homesick from the people, yeah.”

When Obi-Wan shifted again, Anakin became very aware of how small Qui-Gon’s bench really was.  He noticed how Obi-Wan’s leg was lightly grazing his and how his thumbs hadn't stopped twiddling together.  Every time Obi-Wan or Anakin moved, the other could feel it and there was something comforting, intimate even, about that.

They both didn't realize just how much they had craved each other's presences until they were both sitting underneath the stars at Qui-Gon’s bench. 

“It’s getting really late and we both have to be up in a few hours.”

Anakin didn't want the night to end.  “So tomorrow - or I guess later today, we pretend like none of this ever happened? Everything goes back to the way it was?” 

“It has to be that way,” Obi-Wan responded, sadly.

“For sake of argument, I'll try to understand. But we’ll have more conversations like this?” Anakin had completely forgotten what he told himself earlier that night. 

“Underneath these stars, it's just you and me.  The real you and me.”

  
  


“Wait, you’re gay?” Ahsoka asked at the breakfast table.  It was two hours before her and Rex would leave.  “As in likes boys in every way, gay?”

“Keep your voice down,” Anakin scolded, glancing around at the other tables who weren’t paying any attention to them.

Ahsoka turned to Rex with a smirk on her face.  “Pay up, big guy.”  Rex grumbled before reaching into his pocket and placing several bills into her hand which she accepted proudly before sticking them in her own pocket.

“Wait,  _ what? _ ”

“Ahsoka and I, er, had a little bet.  I thought you were just shy with the ladies but Ahsoka said otherwise.  You hadn’t mentioned anything about your love life and we didn’t want to pry so we waited for you to say something.”

“You guys are unbelievable.”  Anakin couldn’t help but laugh.  He spent his entire life trying to hide his sexuality and Ahsoka had guessed it before he even said anything.

“So Jaime?  Yeah, I know him.  Extremely ripped, gorgeous green eyes?  Now that surprises me.  And you said he came on to you?”

“Ahsoka, speak quieter.”

“Sorry, Skyguy.  Rex, looks like your heterosexuality is a minority in this friend group.”

“Wait, what?”  Anakin asked, catching onto what Ahsoka had said.

“I like girls.  Love them actually.  But the difference between me and you is I’m not ashamed of it.  Everyone in this room knows, Rex has always known.  You don’t have to hide anything like that with us, Anakin.  I’ll leave coming out to everyone else up to you but it really brings a huge weight off your chest.”

“Let’s just keep my sexuality my business, alright?”

“I mean, I suggest pursuing green-eyed Jaime.  The way Ahsoka described him, he sounds like a nice-looking fellow,” Rex suggested.  Anakin couldn’t believe this would really happening.  It was like having two Padme’s around, constantly trying to hook him up with people.

“You guys should worry about the mission that you leave for after breakfast,” Anakin responded in a matter-of-fact tone.  “And I hope you know, I expect a full report on what’s going on.”

“Yes, sir,” Ahsoka mocked, saluting him from across the table.  Rex burst into laughter and Anakin tried to act annoyed but he failed.   _ Man, I’m going to miss these losers while they’re gone,  _ he thought.

  
  


“I thought we were focusing on sword fighting today?” Anakin asked.  It felt like the two of them were in character - acting like they were completely different people.  Obi-Wan had mastered the art of keeping a straight, flat, emotionless face and Anakin had mastered the art of hiding (most) of his feelings.

“Change of plans.  Today is going to be a crash course on hand to hand combat.”

“I thought that was next-,”

“Hand-to-hand combat.  Today.”

Anakin rolled his eyes at Obi-Wan’s cold tone. It was hard for him to pretend like their conversation didn’t happen in the early morning.  At the time it was easy for him to agree with the situation despite still not having an explanation, but now, he was quickly getting frustrated all over again.

Obi-Wan looked to the right and in the distance, watching them from afar was General Mace Windu.  His stomach instantly felt nauseous and he knew there were people all around watching them, waiting to report back to the General on how he let Anakin get away with questioning his instruction.

“Give me fifty,” Obi-Wan barked quickly, looking back at Anakin.

“What?”

“You want to continue questioning command?  Make that a hundred pushups.”  Anakin’s eyes burned with anger as he lowered to the ground and began doing push up by push up.  He looked up briefly at Obi-Wan, his eyes meeting his, and only in a flash did he catch the unguarded remorse in Obi-Wan’s eyes.  

He then watched as Obi-Wan glanced again to his right.  This time, he followed his gaze while doing the punishment, landing on an older dark man with a shiny bald head.  Anakin could tell just by his uniform that he, whoever he was, was important.  And he was staring right at their training session.

Anakin finished, his arms burning from the action and hopped up off of the ground before turning his full attention back to Obi-Wan.  He searched for any sign of emotion, but there wasn’t any.   _ Damn you, Obi-Wan, _ his mind cursed.

“First thing we are going to cover is several defense stances in hand to hand combat.  In war, there are no rules so you must be prepared to face-,”

“Commander Kenobi, Anakin Skywalker.”  General Windu approached them with a displeased look on his face.  Anakin knew by Obi-Wan’s suddenly stiff body language that this man in front of them, was one of the men in charge.  His voice was deep and sour, his eyes shot Anakin a disgusted look before directing his attention back to Obi-Wan.  “If I’m not mistaken, the training session you were supposed to instruct today was the principals of sword fighting, was it not?”

Anakin felt instant fury rise within him listening to the tone of voice General Windu used when speaking to Obi-Wan, the man who ended the war with Gastro, earning himself several awards from the King, the man who’s favorite place was a shitty bench dedicated to the General who trained him, the man who was willing to go out of his way for Anakin, regardless of the secrecy behind it all.

“Yes, but I felt it to be a better option to cover hand-to-hand combat today due to-,”  
“Commander Kenobi, this decision was not cleared by the Generals who are monitoring this program with the Prince.  I highly suggest you and Prince Skywalker make your way to the sword fighting arena before you waste anymore time.”

Anakin wanted to explode.

Obi-Wan’s face didn’t crack with any emotion.  He merely nodded his head and said, “Yes, General Windu.  My apologies.”

General Windu left them and Obi-Wan didn’t say another word the rest of the day except for when he was instructing Anakin on the basics of holding a sword.  Even then, his words were limited.  

Anakin wanted to see what was going on behind Obi-Wan’s dull eyes.  He wanted to hear the thoughts swirling his mind.

He wanted answers.

All Anakin could think was that whoever General Windu was, he had just murdered any chance of seeing life in Obi-Wan Kenobi during the daytime.


	8. Part Eight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to put a couple trigger warnings in this message just in case! It's not major but there is mention of blood and fighting in this chapter. Anyway, this chapter definitely has a little bit of everything in it. More excitement to come :-)

Obi-Wan didn’t show up to their spot that night.  Anakin wasn’t sure when he started referring to the bench as  _ their _ spot.  Afterall, they had only ever been there at the same time twice but still the name felt appropriate.

Regardless, he was furious.

Was everything Obi-Wan said the night before complete and utter horse shit?  After waiting for what felt like another hour, Anakin hastily stood up from the bench, picked up a rock on the ground and threw it as hard as he could.  He didn’t see where it landed in the darkness and the action didn’t make him feel any better.

He thought they were friends.   _ He wished they were more. _

It was never specified that they would meet out here each night, but Anakin assumed that it was at least implied.

_ Underneath these stars, it's just you and me.  The real you and me. _

Anakin picked up another rock and threw it harder this time before running his fingers through his hair in distress.  Obi-Wan was driving him crazy and it wasn’t fair.  He thought that after today, after General Windu approached and Obi-Wan made him do those fucking push ups, he’d at least come to Qui-Gon’s bench to apologize.

He didn’t.

Anakin was pissed.  And hurt.  And alone in the darkness.

 

***

 

Obi-Wan listened from his room as the door across the hall slammed shut.  He had been wide awake the entire time - he knew when Anakin left his room at one in the morning and he knew when he returned back inside at three.

Obi-Wan felt incredibly guilty.

There was too much at stake tonight and Obi-Wan needed something to slow down his rapidly growing feelings.  He knew he was fighting a losing battle and he knew that everything was confusing for the both of them, but he couldn’t keep throwing Anakin the confusing signals he had been.

He didn’t even understand why Anakin cared so much about his approval or attention - was he this way with everyone or only him?  Secretly, he wished it was the latter but mentally prepared himself for the worst.

Obi-Wan wished he would have joined Anakin at the bench.  His presence made him feel less alone, gave him purpose, even.  It wasn’t that Obi-Wan was physically alone.  He had always been surrounded by knights and commanders at the base.  All of them he had never had a problem with, he knew how well respected he was and that was okay with him, but what his life had always lacked was an intimate relationship.

And that’s exactly what he craved with Anakin - what he  _ felt  _ with Anakin.

He had to of felt it, too.

Obi-Wan tried to close his eyes and fall asleep, knowing that tomorrow would only bring more stress on Anakin.  Except tomorrow, they weren’t only trying to break him mentally, they were trying to break him physically.

He knew he wasn’t allowed to be there to pick up the pieces, but he knew he would be anyway.  Because that’s who he was.

 

Anakin sat alone at the breakfast table already missing the presence of his two friends.  He had no appetite from the disappointment of the night before still lingering and the anxiety of what another day of training with Obi-Wan would bring.

When Jaime sat down across from him, it took him by surprise.  His black hair was slicked back and his scruff hadn’t been shaved.  “I saw that your two friends were deployed,” he explained smoothy.  “Figured you needed some company.”

“What makes you think I wanted company?”

“Ouch, someone is in a little bit of a rotten mood.  I was only trying to be polite but I guess you’re only pleasant when you’re intoxicated.”  Jaime went to stand up from the table but Anakin stopped him.

“Wait - you can stay.  I don’t mean to be a dick, I’m just tired.”

Jaime smiled as if he was expecting Anakin to call him back and sat down once more.  “Tired in what way?”

_ That’s a strange question, _ Anakin thought.  “What?”

“Are you physically tired?  Mentally?  Emotionally?  All three?  This place will do that to ya.”

“I’m fine,” Anakin assured quickly.  There was no use getting into an entire conversation about everything with a person he wasn’t sure could be trusted.  “I just had a late night last night, is all.”

“Fun night?” Jaime asked with a smirk.

Anakin glanced around to make sure no one was listening to him.  Back at the palace, when he didn’t know who Obi-Wan really was, Jaime would definitely be his type.  He should be pining over the gorgeous man in front of him.

“Not quite,” Anakin responded with an embarrassed chuckle.  “So I’ve just realized I don’t know a single thing about you besides that you’re  _ really  _ good with your hands.”  It was another strategy Anakin used with everyone at the palace; consistently flirting to make them flustered enough to not pick up on his frustration with everything he was dealing with.  When he spoke, he began to feel more like himself - the arrogant, confident, irresponsible flirt everyone saw him as.

“What do you want to know?” Jaime asked, having a hint of the slight tone he heard the other night.  His gorgeous smile showed his perfect teeth.

“Whatever you’re willing to share.”

The two talked the remaining time of breakfast and Anakin found that he enjoyed his presence.  Jaime told story after story, talking about where he came from and his parents and his little sisters.  He came from a family of farmers so everyone was excited when he was accepted into the knight training program.

Anakin typically didn’t keep in touch with the guys he had slept with.  That was the whole purpose of a one night stand, but at that moment, Anakin didn’t mind talking to Jaime.  Obi-Wan still wandered the back of his mind but Jaime was sitting in front of him, treating him like a real person, openly flirting with him, complimenting him, and Anakin didn’t care one bit.

_ We could make this work,  _ he thought impulsively.   _ Jaime and I...we might be able to try something new. _

When everyone was dismissed for their daily activities, Anakin’s mind went blank from Jaime as soon as he saw Obi-Wan standing in the doorway waiting for him.  The anger and hurt crept back into Anakin’s mind as he approached, but it didn’t blind him from the hidden emotion in Obi-Wan’s expression;  _ worry. _

Anakin did his best to ignore it.

“So what new training am I going to be taught today, Commander Kenobi?”  The bitterness in his voice was clear, he didn’t even try to hide it.  All he could think about was them sitting underneath the stars together and then himself sitting underneath them alone.  

They walked side-by-side in the morning sun on the main part of camp bursting with life.

Obi-Wan glanced around, scoping out the area.  His heart thudded in his chest, dreading what would come next.  “There is no training today.”  His tone was professional and flat, but his face wasn’t.  His face was full of angst even if the surrounding knights couldn’t see it, but Anakin could.  He noted this immediately.  Obi-Wan continued, “Instead, you will be performing a hand-to-hand combat group activity.”

Before Anakin could answer, Obi-Wan’s eyes darted around once more before he grabbed Anakin’s arm and pulled him into a secluded space between two buildings.  Anakin was pinned up against the wall and Obi-Wan was leaning against him, the space between them minimal.

“We don’t have much time,” Obi-Wan exasperated.  Anakin’s skin felt on fire from the simple touch and Obi-Wan practically pinning him to a wall was enough to send his emotions into a fury.  They were close, extremely close, and both of their hearts pounded in sync.  “Anakin, today you’re going to fight two of the best combat fighters on camp.  I know you haven’t had much training with it - I tried to get away with training you some yesterday but General Windu - just Anakin, you’re going to get hurt.” He said the words so bluntly.  “I don’t  _ want  _ you to get hurt.  But you’re going to.”

Anakin opened his mouth to speak but he couldn’t find the words.  His mind wouldn’t form a coherent thought.

“I had to tell you, I couldn’t let you walk into the mess you’re about to without a warning.  There’s not much I can do, you haven’t even been trained yet.  Nial and Roy are both strong, intelligent fighters and they have orders to fight until you’re unable to fight anymore.  You’re quick on your feet, use that to your advantage.  Try to outlast them.  I wouldn’t recommend throwing any punches back because they’ll use it against you.”  Obi-Wan was speaking so fast now that Anakin wasn’t even listening to what he was saying.

He was focusing on his eyes a foot away from his, his panicked, blue eyes.  Then he was focusing on his hot breath against his skin and his lips that looked plump, light pink, and a little bit chapped but Anakin didn’t care.

“I’ll be okay,” Anakin managed to breath out.  And he meant it.  The pain and frustration from the night before melted away with Obi-Wan’s gester.  He had broken mandate in broad daylight and now, here he was closer than he had ever been to the man.  Anakin knew his feelings for the beautiful man in front of him weren’t going anywhere anytime soon.

His heart was beating so furiously that he could feel it throughout his body.  Obi-Wan still hadn’t released his arm from his grip and he wondered if Obi-Wan was feeling the same thing he did at that moment in time.

There was a brief moment of silence between the two where there was nothing but their warm breaths filling the little space between them.  Anakin thought he was going to kiss him.  Obi-Wan wasn’t sure what was happening but he didn’t want it to end.  He wanted to get closer and closer but the thoughts he was having scared him.

He had never felt this way about another man before.

“We have to go,” Obi-Wan broke the silence.  Anakin regained composure but couldn’t find any more words.  He nodded his head and carefully followed Obi-Wan out from their hiding place.  

They didn’t speak as they walked towards the combat area.  Neither of them had any words to describe what had happened.  As they approached, there were already some knights gathered around the patch of dirt where the match would take place.  Two big men stood in the middle, Anakin assumed Roy and Nial.  There weren’t as beefy as he thought, but definitely large enough to kill someone with their bare hands.

Anakin glanced over at Obi-Wan who’s face was back to his emotionless state.

_ I can do this, _ he repeated in his head over and over again.   _ I’ve defended myself plenty of times.  I’m a fighter.  This is what I was born to do.  I can do this. _  Then a little voice in the back of his head said,  _ Do it for Him. _

“Ay, ay, ay,  you must be Prince Skywalker,” the bald one on the right said.  Anakin waited for him to outreach his hand.  He didn’t.  “I’m Roy, this is Nial.  Has good ol’ Kenobi explained what’s happening here today?”

More people gathered around the area.  Anakin could feel their eyes on him.  Obi-Wan hadn’t left his side yet.

“I think I’ve got an idea.”

Nial laughed.  “Don’t take any of this personally.  We all have our orders to follow and ours are to see what you can do in a fight without weapons.  Roy, shall we tell him the rules?”

“Hehe, there are no rules.  When you’re down for more than ten seconds, we’ll stop.  Until that point, we assume you have more fight left in ya.  Fighting starts when the bell is rang.  Any questions?”

Anakin looked around at the people surrounding him.  His blood froze cold when he saw none other than General Windu watching them off to the side.  “No,” he responded quickly, feeling the anger rise within him.  General Windu wanted a show and Anakin was going to give him one regardless of how impossible it was for him to win.

Obi-Wan and him made eyecontact one last time before he left him alone in the middle, facing the two best combat fighters the Elodorian army currently had.

The bell rang.  Nial and Roy split up approaching Anakin at separate angles.  Roy threw the first punch which Anakin easily dodged along with the second and third from Nial.  The crowd starting cheering and saying things but Anakin couldn’t make out anything - he was too focused on the fight.  Roy managed to get him with a hook shot, straight to the right temple, catching him off balance.  He shook it off quickly.

They danced around the dirty circle, Anakin avoiding the two beasts as much as possible.  Roy would lunge, Anakin would duck and strike.  This continued on for several minutes as Anakin tried hard to figure out how to take down his opponents.  He had played defense too long.  Roy and Nial grew more aggressive and with that, Anakin grew more angry.  When Nial side-stepped to the right, Anakin punched him in the gut and then in the jaw.  More cheers erupted.   _ Fucking savages, _ his mind cursed.  In a moment of distraction, Roy grabbed Anakin by the shoulders, only for a split second and kneed him in the stomach just above the groin.  

Anakin toppled over in pain and the two didn’t stop coming.  He rolled on the ground, avoiding several kicks before he hopped up  and let himself release the anger he head been holding in.  His fist connected with Roy’s face several times in a second before he had to slightly retreat from Nial coming at him.  Nial hit him in the jaw hard and Anakin could taste the blood from his busted lip.  Everything was in pain.  He moved his feet quickly, dodging as many hits as he could.  With a quick reflex, he blocked another punch from Roy with his left arm and then hit him with his right.  Blood splattered everywhere and Anakin could hear the crack in his nose.  It barely slowed the monster of a man down.

Anakin had lasted harder than he thought he would.  It was clear exhaustion was starting to consume the three of them, the punches growing sloppier and many more were being taken rather than dodged or deflected.  As he moved out of the way from another hit from Roy, Nial snuck one in behind and nailed him in the ribs, the same ribs he had fractured.  Pain exploded throughout his body.

Obi-Wan felt like he watched it happened in slow motion.  The already battered Anakin Skywalker collapsed onto the dirt ground and the crowd screamed, blood dripping from his nose and mouth, his arms clenching his chest. Roy and Nial pounced.  It took everything in Obi-Wan to keep himself from screaming at them to stop, that Anakin was down, it had been more than ten seconds.  But then he saw the General Windu wasn’t watching Anakin, he was watching  _ him. _

Anakin Skywalker put up a valiant fight, leaving significant marks on both fighters, but they ultimately knew where to hit him - almost like they knew he had been injured in the spot a week before.  

As Roy unleashed hit after hit, Anakin let go of every ounce of fight he had in him.  There was no use in fighting.  General Windu had set him up to fail and that’s exactly what he did.  He failed.

His vision began to blur out as the hits stopped coming.  Words couldn’t describe the amount of pain he was in.  The final bell was rung and the noise echoed through his head like an alarm.  The last thing he saw was Obi-Wan rushing towards him on the ground.

Anakin had failed once again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So much drama, so much confusion, I know. Comment your thoughts and have a fantastic day/night!


	9. Part Nine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOOO I feel like it's been longer than it normally has for me to update. It's not even school work that's keeping my attention - which is shocking (although it's still consuming), but lately, I've been in a huge reading kick, more than I usually am. I read the book Carry On by Rainbow Rowell in two days. [FYI: 11/10 recommend, such a fun read, super gay and not super serious/stressful. I loved it.] But now I'm reading the Harry Potter series. I only started yesterday and I'm almost done with the first book. I read like the first five books when I was younger and I have no idea why I never finished! But I haven't seen any of the movies so I'm now preparing my life to be consumed with Harry Potter. (I'm a Gryfinndor btw, I got sorted on Pottermore thanks to a friend - which is shocking because I would have thought I'd be Slytherin.) 
> 
> ANYWAY sorry about the little personal rant, I just love sharing stupid little things about myself on here. Without furtherado, chapter nine.

“This meeting has been called to pass on some very important information.”  General Windu stood at the front of the conference room with nearly a hundred commanders watching him.  He looked as he usually did - serious and professional.  Obi-Wan blended in amongst the crowd, sitting in the middle-back where the General wouldn’t be able to easily spot him.  “There has been some new insight on the disturbances in Elodor.  The people committing treason are rallying numbers against the King and Queen.  However, why they are is more of a mystery.  It is hard to believe that the people of Elodor, people known for peace, are upset about new policies.  We have reason to believe that there is some outside help in convincing these people to rebel against the royal family.”

There was some murmurs in the crowd.  A commander in the front raised his hand.  “General Windu, sir, outside help from who?”

Mace Windu cleared his throat over all of the background noise, silencing the distraught Knights.  “Again, we are unsure of who the outside help could be but there is reason to believe that Gastro may be behind-” The man couldn’t even finish his thoughts.  The room erupted into loud panicked conversations.

Obi-Wan could hear bits and pieces from the Knights surrounding him.  “ _ Another attack from Gastro?  We defeated them in the war ten years ago!”  “It’s too soon to go back to war with them, I thought we put them in their place.”  “What does the King think about this?  Will he really send us to war again?” “Has King Stephanus come back to the throne?”   _ Obi-Wan tried to wrap his mind around the possibility.  He wasn’t sure if he had ever fully recovered from the war the last time.

In war, there all no rules.  He had explained this many times to the Knights that he had trained, but there was no other way to explain it, no other way for him to make them comprehend the severity of it.  No amount of words could describe the things he had seen in that war - one of the most gruesome and violent wars in Elodorian history.  And it was right in everyone’s backyard.

Obi-Wan tried to keep all the memories locked away in the deepest part of his mind, only touching them when it was absolutely necessary.  Most of everyone called him a war hero.  He was invited to the palace on multiple occasions where King Cliegg himself placed several medals around his neck in front of a room of important people who applauded him for his courgeousness.

He couldn’t remember where he put those medals.  He didn’t care enough to.  All they were, were reminders of something he had been trying to forget for a long time.  

Obi-Wan knew it was his duty, and he loved being a commander, he loved fighting for the beautiful empire of Elodor and her people.  But the war with Gastro was more than a war, it was a catastrophe the Devil himself created, it was mass destruction on another level.  He wished he would have died on the battlefield rather than lived to remember all the pain, dirt, and gore.

He watched families slaughtered, children screaming for their parents and before he could get there to take them away from all of the madness, Gastro soldiers killed them without thought.   _ Children. _

Gastro was run by King Stephanus, a tyrant who only cared about the rich and wealthy, but more importantly, himself.  Most of Gastro’s villagers followed radical ideals that made them believe the poor and underprivileged were next to nothing, scum of the planet.  While some people could see past his awful views, many saw him as some type of god chosen to rule not only Gastro, but the entire world.

King Stephanus didn’t have a Queen because that would require him to share his power.  Though many people talked about different girls being brought to his living quarters each night.  Gastro was an empire filled with corrupt politicians and brain-washed people, all convinced that the non wealthy caused every problem.  No one could leave - many had no desire to - and crime rates were at an all time high.  Torturing the poor was of something of the normal there.  The people in charge of enforcing the law, the King’s law, turned the other way and allowed for the rich to do whatever they liked.

It was a sickening empire filled with greed and hate.

The war with Gastro started when King Stephanus decided he was going to try and take over Elodor to expand his empire.  They tried to invade from all sides, attacking Elodorian borders and leaving nothing but destruction.  The Elodorian Army fought back with everything they had, leaving blood in both empires, both losing thousands of soldiers and civilians.

Obi-Wan was credited, much to his dismay, of ending the war by killing the strongest general the Gastro army had.  That same general tried to march through the main part of Elodor, take down the palace, and murder the King.  Obi-Wan killed him.  He didn’t remember much about the details - most were blocked from his brain, but during that particular battle, when he received the title of ‘War Hero’, he lost all of his men and women fighting by his side.  Not all of them died on the battlefield, some lived to see an infirmary, but they didn’t live much longer than that.  Every single one of them  _ gone. _

Obi-Wan killed the general who was supposed to kill the King.  He lived when everyone else didn’t.  And he wished he hadn’t just so he could stop seeing their faces in his sleep.

Obi-Wan didn’t ask to be a war hero.  He had always dreamed about being a brave Knight that served Elodor, even as a little boy, but he never understood the cost that it would come.

Now, there was a possibility that Gastro, ten short years later, was trying to take over Elodor again.  And Obi-Wan felt sick.

The meeting was dismissed and Obi-Wan hardly heard any more of what General Windu said.  He needed something to keep his mind from wandering, a distraction from the memories he needed to forget.  He rushed to the infirmary where Anakin was being held.  All it had been was two days.  The extent of Anakin’s injuries weren’t severe, but enough to immobilize him for a couple days.  If his ribs weren’t broken before, they definitely were now.  His ankle was sprained severely and his face looked like it had been slammed into a concrete wall repeatedly.

When Anakin fell and the bell rang, Obi-Wan’s feet carried him over to his side without him telling him to.  General Windu didn’t say anything, no one said anything, it was silent.  It was like suddenly, the soldiers had all realized that they just watched the Elodorian Prince be beaten to a pulp by two of the most powerful soldiers.  And they let it happen.

Obi-Wan burst through the door of the infirmary and went straight to Anakin’s room.  He didn’t bother to knock, instead he barged in hoping that he wasn’t asleep.  To his dismay, the bed was empty.  Anakin was gone.  He walked back out into the hall, feeling panic run through his body, and flagged down the first nurse he saw.  
“Excuse me,” he said in a rushed tone. “Was Ana-Prince Skywalker released?”

The short, blonde nurse nodded her head.  “A friend of his came by and helped him back to his room.”

“A friend?” Obi-Wan questioned.  Anakin had only associated with Rex and Ahsoka and both of them were deployed a couple days before.

“I believe he said his name was Jaime?  I’m sorry I have other patients-,”

“Not to worry, thank you.”

Obi-Wan rushed back out the exit of the infirmary, his mind wondering who Jaime could be.  Yes, he was a commander but Lake Cascada was one of the largest training camps.  It was impossible for him to know every single person.  _ But at that moment he wished he did. _

He headed back towards the commander hall where he didn’t stop to say hello to anyone, even if they looked like they had something to say to him.  Inside, he went straight to the second floor and didn’t think to knock on Anakin’s door when he, again, barged into his room.

He wished he hadn’t.

A very battered Anakin looked stunned as he pushed who he presumed,Jaime, away from him.  A tall, handsome Jaime whom Obi-Wan  _ did _ recognise, away from his lips.  He had walked in on something he really shouldn’t have.

“My apologies,” Obi-Wan dismissed quickly before turning back out the door.  He heard Anakin call his name but he didn’t stop.  Instead, he unlocked the door to his room and quickly closed it behind him.

He knew.  No, actually, he didn’t know.  However, it didn’t come as a shock to walk in on Anakin kissing another man.  What came as a shock was that Obi-Wan had this feeling in the pit of his stomach that felt like jealousy, he  _ knew _ was jealousy.  As he leaned up against his door, desperately feeling the need to open a window, he tried hard not to imagine what it would be like to be on the receiving end of what he had just saw.

Why couldn’t he have slowed down and knocked?  Instead, he ran around Lake Cascada like a mad man looking for Anakin, hoping that he was alright, ready to apologize for leaving him this morning for the meeting.

He shouldn’t care about Anakin’s personal life, he shouldn’t care about Anakin at all.

But he did.  Too much.

 

***

 

“Why did Commander Kenobi barge in here?” Jaime asked in astonishment.  They were both seated on Anakin’s bed.

“I don’t know.” And Anakin was telling the truth.  His heart felt like it was about to give out and it wasn’t because of the man next to him.  “You should go.”

“Anakin,” Jaime began, “our relationship shouldn’t concern him.  I know you are uncomfortable with people knowing-,”

“Relationship?  This isn’t a relationship,” Anakin replied defensively.

Jaime turned to face him once more and his hand reached over to lightly brush one of the many bruises on Anakin’s face.  “You called me this morning, remember?  It might not be a relationship, but it’s something.  He’s only your commander.  I’ve never personally trained with him, but he’s a good guy, he won’t say anything.”

Jaime didn’t understand and Anakin couldn’t blame him for that.  Anakin wasn’t worried about Obi-Wan telling people, he was worried about how much more this would change things between them.

He did call Jaime after Obi-Wan left.  There was no question in that.  But he called Jaime as a last resort to see if he could delay his feelings anymore.  To see if one last time, he could stop himself from falling for Obi-Wan Kenobi especially when he made it so fucking hard for him to dislike him.

It started out as an admiration, a stupid crush, but even after three short weeks, it felt more than any crush Anakin had ever experienced.

After Obi-Wan dragged Anakin in between the buildings to warn him of what would come, he knew where they stood.  He knew at that moment, Obi-Wan had put his career on the line to make sure he didn't walk into that fight blind-sided.  He didn't know why things were the way that they were, he didn't know why Obi-Wan would do such a thing for him, but he knew that all of his anger from the night before had diminished.

When he took his final hit, leaving him in agonizing pain on the dirt ground, Obi-Wan was kneeling next for him calling for a medic.  Anakin reached out and grabbed his hand, not even thinking, and squeezed.  His eyes were too swollen at the time to see his face clearly, but he felt it when he squeezed back.   _ Obi-Wan squeezed his hand back.  _

Then he stayed both nights in the infirmary with him.  Anakin was asleep most of the first day, having pain meds being pumped into him and ice packs pressed upon every part of his body.  But when he would find the strength to glance at the chair next to the bed, Obi-Wan was still there.  He wasn't sure if he was allowed to be, or if he would be reprimanded for it, but Anakin didn't want him to leave.  And Obi-Wan didn't.

“Thank you,” he remembered croaking out before he fell back asleep.

“For what?” Obi-Wan’s voice was soft because it was late and dark and even though they weren’t at their spot under the stars, it was the two of them, the real two of them, in the infirmary room together.

“Everything.”  Then Anakin lazily smiled, partly from the pain pills and partly because Obi-Wan being there with him meant more than he could admit to himself.

When he woke up the first morning, Obi-Wan was there, wide awake with breakfast.  He remembered the smell of the sausage and syrup and even though Anakin didn’t have much of an appetite, he ate it anyway because  _ Obi-Wan brought him breakfast _ .  While he couldn’t stay with him the entire day, he stopped by regularly, asking the nurse lots of questions about how he was doing, asking him if he needed anything.  Anakin wished he was in a better state to appreciate it.

When he woke up the second morning, he was feeling better and was ready to see a sleepy Obi-Wan sitting next to his bed with breakfast and smile.  But Obi-Wan wasn’t there.  It felt too much like when he fell out of the tree - the aching disappointment.  Before he could loath too much, the nurse stopped in and handed him a note Obi-Wan left which contained an explanation and an apology.  When his stomach erupted into butterflies, he knew he was in trouble.  Impulsively, he asked the nurse to get in contact with Jaime.

They dismissed him with more orders of bed rest.  There was nothing more they could do for him at the infirmary than what he could do in the comforts of his own living quarters.  They told him to ice everything that hurt (which was pretty much everything), avoid putting stress on his ribs, and keep his ankle wrapped and elevated.  He wasn't entirely sure how he injured that part of himself but it hurt like a bitch to walk on.

Then Jaime helped him back to his room.  And kissed him.  And Anakin kissed back because he missed Obi-Wan when he shouldn’t miss Obi-Wan and he was sad and hurt and needed an escape from his unrequited feelings.

That’s when Obi-Wan barged in nearly thirty minutes later.  And that’s how the two ended up in the position they were now.

“You should lay down,” Jaime murmured in his ear.  He did.  Jaime placed a couple pillows underneath his right ankle before carefully pushing Anakin’s long hair out of his face. “Can I get you anything?”

_ I should want this,  _ Anakin kept thinking to himself,  _ I should really want this. _

“No.”

Anakin could see the disappointment in Jaime’s eyes.  He could see how hard he was trying.  Anakin called him.  He was the reason Jaime was in his room with him right now.

“Thank you,” he quickly added, feeling remorse for his coldness.  He brought Jaime’s hand up to his lips and planted a soft kiss on it.  “This all means a lot, I'm sorry I'm such a dick.”

Jaime chuckled. “In the state you're in right now, you have a right to be.”

“Am I keeping you from where you need to be right now?”

Jaime glanced at his watch.  “As much as I hate to do this, I have to be at a team workout in ten minutes across camp.”

“Go.”

“I'll bring you dinner?”

Anakin thought about Obi-Wan again.  All he ever thought about was Obi-Wan. 

“That would be great.”  Jaime kissed his forehead and left his room, leaving Anakin alone with his thoughts of self-loathing and confusion.

Never did he consider that Obi-Wan was in the next room, wondering what it would be like to be Jaime.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts on Jaime? Also, we'll be seeing more from Padme in the next chapter, no worries, my wife needs some more time. Anakin now has plenty to respond to her letter with ;-). As usual, I freaking adore all of your guys' comments and I apologize for putting you all through pain and misery, but I, myself, am a horrible person (who still deserves your guys' validation for my writing). Hope you enjoyed!  
> \- Kay


	10. Part Ten

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YO MY DUDES I have updated. (And I finished the second HP book in a day lol) Anyway, have a good weekend and leave a comment telling me what you think!

_ Padme, _

 

_ It’s been a month since I’ve written and I can’t begin to apologize for not responding back to your letter.  There’s so much I want to tell you and so much I need to ask you about.  Where do I even begin?  I guess I should start off with I think the General in charge here is purposely trying to hurt me - and when I say I think - I mean I know he is trying to hurt me.  It’s the only explanation I can come up with.  He’s the one in charge of scheduling my training sessions, he’s Obi-Wan’s boss.  He’s the man who doesn’t want Obi-Wan to treat me like a normal trainee.  They’re purposely overloading the work and putting me in danger.  I don’t understand. _

 

_ Obi-Wan hasn’t told me this outright.  But in a way he has - I don’t know.  I don’t know how to put down anything that’s happened in words.  One night, I couldn’t sleep so I went for a walk and found a bench that turned out to be dedicated to Obi-Wan’s old commander.  So I sat.  And then Obi-Wan showed up.  Except this time when he spoke to me, he spoke with a different voice - a soothing, soft, voice like I was something more than his student.  It’s really lovely, he has a tiny bit of an accent and I’m not sure where from. He started to explain why he couldn’t treat me normally, but he stopped himself.  We’ve met a couple times underneath the stars at our spot and it’s been amazing, exhilarating, I don’t know.  Then I got hurt (yes, I know, again) but this time it wasn’t my fault.  General Windu had two men fight me, hand to hand combat, without any specific training on it.  Obi-Wan warned me right before hand.  He wasn’t supposed to but he did and I have no idea what they are doing to me here Padme but I’m trying to take it one step at a time. _

 

_ I’m not making much sense am I?  My thoughts are coming so fast.  I wish I would have wrote to you sooner so all this information wasn’t as overwhelming. _

 

_ Also, I may have a boyfriend.  I don’t know what he is.  I don’t even think I have feelings for him.  He’s hot, very hot, and sweet and kind and everything I should want.  I think you’d like him.  You told me to find someone when I came here, only I didn’t look, he found me.  Except, I don’t think he’s the one I want.  And you know how I feel about relationships and that in general. _

 

_ Padme, I keep using him as a distraction.  I’m trying to like him, I really am.  (His name is Jaime).  But when I got the living shit kicked out of me, Obi-Wan was there.  He was there with me in the infirmary every step of the way and I didn’t want him to leave.  Then when he had to leave, I called Jaime because I’m scared that I’m falling for someone who could never love me back.  I’m scared of these feelings. _

 

_ Alright, now onto more important matters that doesn’t include my miserable personal life - what the fuck is happening at the palace?  Ahsoka and Rex were both deployed into town to help contain some rebellions?  No one is telling me anything.  Are you okay?  Is Mother okay?  I sent Mother a letter and I haven’t gotten a response yet.  I imagine it’s because it has to go through all kinds of security but I really would like to hear from her.   _

 

_ I wish I didn’t have to be here.  I’m so tired and it’s not the type of tired you can sleep off.  Sorry for complaining so much in this letter, sorry for not making any sense.  You know I’ve never been good with words. _

 

_ Can’t wait to see you.  Love you and miss you, _

_ Anakin _

 

Anakin knew writing the letter to Padme at one in the morning was an awful idea.  He read it back to himself and had to stop from tearing up the entire thing.  How could he even describe everything that’s happened?

Sighing to himself, he folding up the letter and left it on the desk to send in the morning.

It had been one week since the fight.  One month since he arrived at Lake Cascada. They, meaning General WIndu and whoever else was in charge, had given him two days off after he got out of the infirmary.  People stared at him again when he walked by them.  The swelling from his face had disappeared for the most part, and the bruises were halfway fading, but even without the noticeable injuries, everyone knew what had happened.

Anakin hadn’t ventured out to him and Obi-Wan’s spot after Obi-Wan walked in on him and Jaime.  He was too afraid.  He wasn’t even sure of what.  Anakin doubted that Obi-Wan was homophobic, but he still couldn’t bare to face him.  During training sessions, he could kind of tell that it bothered Obi-Wan to command him to take a sprint around the pound even though his ankle seared with pain while doing so.  They spoke as if nothing had ever happen.  There were no more secret smiles, no more hidden messages.  It was the original Anakin and Obi-Wan; both fulfilling the roles that they were meant to.

Despite his ankle being swollen from the workout he underwent today, Anakin stood up from the chair, grabbed his sweatshirt, and walked out into the dark sky.  He still had a slight limp and he knew he should be resting, but he couldn’t.  How could someone be so exhausted and not be able to sleep?

As he approached Qui-Gon’s bench, he noticed that it wasn’t empty.  There, in the dim moonlight, sat Obi-Wan Kenobi.  The butterflies no longer took Anakin by surprise, neither did the goosebumps or increased heart rate.  Obi-Wan had that effect on him.  He walked, more so limped, closer to the bench and sat down next to the handsome man.

“Beautiful night,” Obi-Wan commented first.

“That’s all you have to say?” Anakin didn’t mean to come off angry, but blood pounded in his ears, unsure of what to expect to come out of the conversation.

“Well, it’s been a beautiful night every night this week, but you wouldn’t know that.”

Anakin was thankful for the dark to hide the color that had drained from his face.  “You came out here?  And waited for me?”

“I thought that’s what we agreed on, friends, remember?”  
Guilt flooded Anakin’s veins.  “I-,”

“It’s alright,” Obi-Wan cut off gently.  “You don’t have to explain yourself.  It was my fault for barging into your room without knocking.  Is Jaime your boyfriend?”  There was something in his voice that Anakin couldn’t make out - a somber tone.

“I don’t know, on the way to being there, I s’pose, maybe.”

“He’s a good lad I hear, a strong, hard-working knight.”

Anakin didn’t want to talk about Jaime.  “Is there a reason you were in a hurry?  You seemed in a panic.”

“I-I wanted to see if you were alright.  I checked the infirmary first and you weren’t there.”

It felt like the night had fallen silent.  The slight breeze that rustled the trees had completely died, no sign of wildlife creaked in the distance, it was only Obi-Wan and Anakin.

_ Obi-Wan wanted to see if Anakin was alright. _

“Do you have someone in your life?”  The words were timid to come out of Anakin’s mouth.  Both of them were pushing boundaries they had never crossed together.  Neither were sure what was okay to ask and what wasn’t without setting the ther off.

“No,” Obi-Wan trailed off sadly, “I used to.  But ten years ago, she became apart of the destruction that Gastro left.  Never really looked for anyone after that.”

“I’m so sorry, I didn’t know.”  There was a pregnant pause.  Anakin tried not to dwell on the  _ she  _ part.  He was finally getting more insight to Obi-Wan’s life.  “Do you miss her?”

“I-Yes, I miss her.  She was beautiful and had this aura, this confidence, that attracted people to her.  She was brave and fearless, sometimes a handful,”  _ exactly like you,  _ Obi-Wan thought.  “I loved her and then I lost her.  I lost nearly everyone in that war.”

Anakin wanted to hold Obi-Wan.  He wasn’t sure if it was even acceptable to hold a grown man, but he would.  He wanted to hold him and make him forget about all of the terrors he had seen.  He wanted to kiss him and tell him he’d be there always, that he wouldn’t lose Anakin like he lost his lover.

“Have you ever been in love, Anakin?”

“I don’t really, um, do relationships, so no.”

“Why not?” Obi-Wan seemed particularly troubled by this.

“With love, when it’s good, it’s amazing.  But when you lose that - it’s devastating.  A bit morbid, isn’t it?  People do rash things in the name of it.  Really, it can mend and destroy everything.  King Stephanus nearly created a genocide of people out of his love for power.  So I try to stay clear of it all.”  It was Anakin’s cowardly way of saying that he was afraid of getting hurt.

“Love and greed aren’t even close to the same things,” said Obi-Wan.  “I miss Satine greatly and it hurt to lose her, but I don’t regret loving her.”

Anakin winced at Obi-Wan talking about loving someone else.  He felt like a hypocrite - hoping that his words would convince himself to continue on with his way of secluding feelings from his affairs and focusing only on the physical gain.  But even while he spoke about his stance on love, he was wondering what it would be like waking up next to Obi-Wan each morning.

“You said you don’t do relationships but Jaime-?”

“Is something new, I think, I don’t know.  I don’t know much of anything anymore.”

Everything was overwhelming.  For the first time in a long time, Anakin felt the exhaustion hit him like a brick wall.  He knew he was tired, he wrote that in the letter to Padme.  However, at that moment, trying to contain his feelings and forget about the world around him, it hit him.  It was more than a sleepy tired.  Sure, his body ached with fatigue and his mind was overthinking but in the mixture of it all, the exhaustion made him feel homesick.  He wanted to go home and he wanted to bring Obi-Wan with him, away from people like General Windu and whoever else.

“I miss my mother,” Anakin confessed in a whisper.  He could feel tears prickle in his eyes.  He wasn’t sure what was triggering the waterworks - he hardly ever cried.  Given the circumstances of severe tiredness and raging emotions, he couldn’t hide what he was feeling.  “Do you know a lot about me, Obi-Wan?  I know some people think they do.  Everyone has an opinion on  _ Prince Skywalker, _ except all of them really don’t know a single thing about me to form an opinion.

I see the way most of them look at me here.  They don’t have to voice their opinions for me to know what they think.  The only reason I’m here is because Cliegg thinks you’re going to make some King out of me.  But you won’t.”  Once Anakin started talking, he couldn’t find it in him to stop.  “I don’t want to be King, I never wanted to.  When I was younger, I used to dream of being a knight but now, after spending a month here, I don’t even know if I want to do that.”

Anakin blinked and two stray tears rolled down his cheek.  “I miss my mother,” he repeated, this time much softer, hardly audible.

Obi-Wan could feel his heart ache for the younger boy.   _ What are we doing to you, Anakin?   _ He wondered to himself.  He wanted to hug him and let him cry on his shoulder.  He wanted to take him far away from this place and protect him from everything that could harm him.

Instead he asked, “What’s your mother like?”

“She’s beautiful.  I know you’ve seen her, but her beauty doesn’t only stem from the outside.  I’ve never met anyone more kindhearted than her.  We had nothing when I was younger, less than nothing.  Yet, she still welcomed whoever needed it into where we slept and made sure they had something to eat and drink.  She used to tell me ‘Ani, the richest people in wealth who treat people horribly are the poorest of them all.  Compassion is the only thing that will ever truly make you rich.’  Then somehow in between all the madness, her a Cliegg fell in love and we suddenly became apart of the royal family.  We went from stealing to survive to being able to shit in golden toilets if we pleased.

She kept all of her best traits, though, despite the sudden fortune and power.  She put the people’s needs before hers and vowed that we would help everyone who was like us.”

“Your mother sounds like an amazing woman and she raised her son exactly that.”

Anakin felt his cheeks blush. “I’m not-,”

Obi-Wan cut him off.  (He seemed to do that a lot recently.) “You are.  I promise you, you are.  And regardless if you want to be or not, if you end up becoming King, you will be an amazing one.”  Obi-Wan squeezed Anakin’s thigh lightly and the action sent electricity up his spine.  He melted into his single touch and let his mind calm.

He knew it was wrong.  He knew if Obi-Wan’s superiors were to find out about this, something bad would happen.  But at that moment, he didn’t care, and Obi-Wan didn’t either.  Slowly, Anakin let himself lean into Obi-Wan and they fit together like two jigsaw pieces on Qui-Gon’s bench, underneath the stars.

 

“This is Anakin,” Jaime introduced at the new breakfast table.  It took a lot of arguing before breakfast but Jaime had finally convinced Anakin to sit with his crowd of people while Ahsoka and Rex were away.  “Mind if he sits with us?”

Anakin could feel all six pairs of eyes burning into his skin.  He let it bounce right off with him and sat down with the confidence he was known for.

A pale, blonde girl extended her hand first.  “Sylvia,” she introduced with a high voice.  Three others followed, all sharing small smiles.  However, the two on the end didn’t seem pleased with the new presence at the table.  The one on the left, a bigger built man with sandy, buzzed hair, had a tattoo on his neck that looked apart of something bigger on his back.  The man across from him, sharing the same hostile glare, had light brown hair pushed to the side.  They didn’t introduce themselves.

Jaime shot Anakin a look that said  _ don’t-pay-them-no-mind _ and Anakin obeyed.  The small group chatted amongst themselves about nothing in particular.  Jaime chimed in occasionally, but for the most part, he focused on Anakin.  Their legs were barely touching on the table bench and Anakin noted there was plenty of extra space for them to not be.

“Is Commander Kenobi still being a dick to you?” he inquired.  No one else was paying much attention to them.

“He’s not a dick,” Anakin defended, quickly.

“Oh.  I guess from what I’ve heard, people have been saying he’s been hard on you - way harder than any other trainee.  The bruises are pretty much gone, yeah?”  Anakin tried to ignore the sudden change of topic.  And the fact that people were talking about him and Obi-Wan.  “Anyway, do you know what your schedule looks like for today?  I have some sword training after breakfast, a workout, and then some free time.”

“I-er, I don’t really know, honestly.”

“If you have some time before dinner, want to go for a swim in the lake?” Anakin was really worried that the other people were listening.  Two average guys don’t just go for a swim together...the two of them...alone...and Anakin wasn’t about to have his sexuality thrown out in public for him to be ridiculed some more by the citizens that already didn’t favor him.

_ A gay prince?  What kind of nonsense is that? _

“I’ll try,” Anakin assured in a hushed voice.  Anything to keep an expression of disappointment off of Jaime’s face.

Breakfast ended with the usual bell and Jaime walked with Anakin to the entrance.  Anakin laughed at something Jaime said, Jaime kept brushing his hand against his.

All Anakin kept thinking was  _ this is how relationships are supposed to be.  I can do this.  Jaime can make me happy.  He will make me happy.  Look how beautiful he looks; green eyes, his black hair is a bit grown out but still sexy slicked back, structured jaw line - he is a knight in shining armor.  He can be everything I want.  I can do this.  I can fall in love with Jaime. _

Obi-Wan was in his usual waiting place for Anakin.  Except this time, when Anakin approached, he was accompanied by someone else.  The two approached and it took everything in Obi-Wan to keep his straight-face, even though his stomach suddenly didn’t agree with his breakfast.

“Have a good day,” he heard Jaime say to Anakin.  He thought he heard Anakin say the same thing in return.  Then a moment later, Jaime disappeared into the crowd of knights heading through the exit.

Today, when Anakin stood in front of Obi-Wan, there was a smile on his face.  A pure, bright smile.  Anakin could tell Obi-Wan was fighting hard to keep himself from smiling back - he enjoyed watching the micro twitches in his face.  To Anakin, there was nothing to force.  The connection with Obi-Wan came naturally.

“What does the training for today look like, Commander Kenobi?”  

“Actually, Anakin, there is no training today.  I believe there is a young Padme Amidala here to visit you.”


	11. Part 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not at all keen on this chapter - but i felt the need to update because i've been so busy lately. I hope you guys forgive me since it's not as long as usual and it's mostly filler dialogue. i promise next chapter will be better and much more exciting!

When Obi-Wan walked Anakin to a room he had never been before, he saw Padme instantly.  She stood in a light blue dress with her hair in an intricate braid, talking to another man in uniform he didn’t recognize.  The minute she saw him enter, she ran into his arms to which he hugged her tightly.  It felt like a lifetime since he had seen his best friend.  He inhaled deeply, appreciating her rose scent and she clutched the back of his t-shirt with her hands, pulling them as close together as possible.

Padme pulled away and said, “You never answered my letter - your face?  What happened to your face, Ani?”  She reached up and brushed her hand on some of the faded bruises underneath his eye.

Anakin was aware that Obi-Wan was still watching them along with the other man Padme was talking to.  “I’ve been busy, I’m sorry I haven’t answered.”  He pulled the letter out of his pocket, the one he intended to mail today.  “I wrote this last night, maybe you should read it in private.”

Padme looked like she was going to push for more information but stopped herself.  Instead she said, “Well, don’t be rude.  Introduce me to the man who brought you here.”  Anakin recognized her expression immediately.  The hint of cheekiness that told him she knew exactly who lead him here, but was looking for an excuse to see them interact.  She hadn’t even read his letter yet and was already interfering.

Anakin shot her a warning look and Obi-Wan stepped more into the room.  “No need.  I am Obi-Wan Kenobi, a commander in the army.  I’ve heard about your impressive political feats in the palace, Miss Amidala.  Very admirable.”

“Why, thank you.  I’ve most definitely heard plenty about you, Commander Kenobi.  Anakin mentioned in his letter that you were the one training him.  I hope he’s staying out of trouble - he had a knack for it at the palace.”

Anakin scoffed, “You speak like you didn’t take place in any of it, Padme.”

Padme’s face turned a shade of light pink.  She always got flustered when Anakin spoke to her like his best friend in front of important people.

“Anakin’s doing a great job here,” Obi-Wan complimented.  Anakin hadn’t heard this tone of voice with him before.  It wasn’t the strict, fake tone he used during training sessions, but it also wasn’t the soft, emotional voice he spoke to Anakin when no one else was around.  Obi-Wan was speaking normally, in a friendly, casual voice.  That meant the soft voice he used was for Anakin only.

“He certainly doesn’t look like it,” she commented.  Anakin knew what was coming, he tried to interject (“Padme-,”) but she didn’t stop herself this time.  “Surely one of you can explain the bruises on Anakin’s face?  I haven’t seen all of the knights on my journey in but the fair few I did see, none of them had the injuries he possesses.”

Anakin didn’t want her to interfere.  He’d explain to her later once she read the letter, but if she did this right here, right now, there was a possibility things would get ten times worse during his stay.  He glanced at Obi-Wan whose expression looked distraught.  Padme couldn’t blame Obi-Wan - it wasn’t his fault.

“I got into a fight,” Anakin responded quickly.  “Another knight was making smart comments and you know my temper.  We both hashed it out and this is the ending result - you should see the other guy.  But it was my fault.”  Obi-Wan looked confused and Padme looked like she didn’t believe him.

Anakin licked his lips and Padme backed off, relaxing her tensed face.  It was a sign they had invented when they were younger.  Whenever Anakin licked his lips after explaining something, it told Padme that he was lying, but to go along with it anyway.  It helped the two of them out of trouble because their superiors always seemed to believe Padme over Anakin.

“Ani, I hope you’re not fighting everyone here,” she dismissed.  “I assume the situation was handled fairly?”

Obi-Wan nodded his head, still confused.  “Yes, ma’am.  The situation was handled.  I don’t think there will be anymore problems.”

Padne spoke as if she were Anakin’s mother but he knew she would drop the professional facade as soon as they were alone.

“Excellent.  Commander Cody,” she turned to the man she was talking with when Anakin entered the room, “I’m going to have Anakin show me the base, in private.  I’ll have someone send for you if something goes wrong.”  Anakin was confused as to why Padme was having a commander stick around with her.

“Yes, ma’am.”  Commander Cody exited the room, leaving only Anakin, Padme, and Obi-Wan together.

“I’ll leave you two to catch up.  Pleasure seeing you, Miss Amidala,” Obi-Wan nodded his head at her.  He paused and looked at Anakin, his eyes soft and a slight smile on his face, “Anakin.”  He turned and went out the door, Anakin feeling his skin tingle from the look.

“Looks like we  both have a lot to share with each other.”

 

* * *

 

Anakin took her to the lake, the far-side away from the knights so no one would be able to overhear what they discussed.  Both were filled with joy to be in each other’s presences again, but they also had a lot to share.  Questions floated in both of their heads with what had happened to each other in the past month.

“Read the letter first,”  Anakin said.  “Before you ask any more questions.”

Padme did.  She took her time in reading it and Anakin waited impatiently, staring across the lake towards the camp.  The sun was in the middle of the sky without a cloud in sight but the air was still cool for a summer day.

“He had someone...two people..fight you?”  Padme asked astonished.  “Anakin, what are they doing to you here?  We have to tell someone - we have to tell Cliegg and Shmi!”

“Padme, I think Cliegg might be the one telling them to do this.  It’s the only way they would be able to get away with it.  I don’t understand it, but I only have two more months here.”

“Why would your own father do such a thing?”

“He’s not my father,” Anakin snapped in response.

“Sorry - but it doesn’t make any sense.”

“Your guess is as good as mine.  I’m okay, though, I promise,” he lied.  Anakin didn't want Padme to know about the restless nights that started up recently, or that the only thing that made him want to get out of bed was seeing Obi-Wan.  He didn't want to talk about how tired he was physically and emotionally, and how the stress had been causing him to have nightmares.

“I want you to come home,” Padme confessed, laying her head on his shoulder. “It sounds like you have a lot more to work out than just the General Windu situation.  Obi-Wan is very handsome.”

“I know,” Anakin half groaned. “It’ll pass. These feelings, they always do.  Jaime will pass, too. I'll come home and we’ll get married and be the future King and Queen of Elodor.” His tone was mocking, expecting Padme to giggle like she always did when Anakin spoke like that.  She didn't.

“Why are you constantly trying to keep people from getting close to you?”

“What? I'm not,” he responded defensively. “There’s no use falling in love with someone who you can't even be with, Padme.  It's irrational.  This entire thing with Jaime is for fun - to pass the time while I'm here.  And Obi-Wan, well, I don't know but it doesn't matter.  When I go home, I'll be the perfect little straight Prince Cliegg wants me to be.  I accepted a long time ago that I’d never be able to love freely, you know this.  It's fine.”

“Quick saying everything is fine,” Padme snapped, sitting up stiffly.  She grabbed his hand into hers and held on tightly.  “Nothing is fine, Anakin. You have bruises on your face, you've been in the infirmary twice, you've been planning a fake marriage since you were fifteen-,” Padme stopped herself as tears welled in her eyes.  “Life is too short to keep ourselves from being happy, Ani.  Too short.”  Fat tears began rolling down her cheeks.

Anakin rarely saw her this vulnerable and it shocked him to see her in the sudden state.  She was the strongest person he knew and now she was breaking down right in front of him.

“Padme, what's wrong?”

“Sabe is dead.  They killed her when they tried to kill me.  There was an assassination attempt on my life and they got Sabe instead of me,” she sniffled, “That’s why Cody was with me, for my protection.  That’s why they let me come see you.”

Anakin wrapped her in his tight embrace, feeling the anger instantly surge inside of him.  He felt as though he could burn the entire forest or take down the entire empire of Gastro single-handedly.  They, whoever they were, tried to kill Padme.  His Padme.

“I-I want you to know it’s okay to do things that make you happy.  The future doesn't look as bright as it used to.  The rebellions are getting stronger and there’s valid proof that puts Gastro as the culprit.  Cliegg is preparing for the worst outcome; war.” He wanted to hold her tighter but he wasn't sure it was entirely possible.  If he was at the palace, he could have kept Sabe and Padme safe.  But he was here at Lake Cascada.

“We’ll deal with it, okay?  We always do,” he murmured, not believing a word he had said to himself.  “I'll come home, I'll keep you safe.  We can run away, disappear from Elodor and move to a different empire where no one would recognize us.  We could get a little house and you could decorate it full of colors.  Maybe we could have a couple dogs, a few chickens for fresh eggs, maybe even a horse.”

Padme had stopped crying but her eyes were still stained whispered.  She looked Anakin in the eyes and said, “We can't keep living in that fantasy world we invented when we were younger.  This is our life, right here, right now.  There is no running away anymore.  But that doesn't mean we can't still make the best of what we have.”

“It's so good to have you back.”

“I’m only here for today.  After that, you have to do what makes you happy.”  She straightened up once more, wiping underneath her eyes and smiled.  “But I swear to god if I don't hear from you twice a week at least, I will vandalize your room while you're gone.”

“And you say I'm the troublemaker - breaking and entering along with vandalism?  You badass.”

Padme laughed and then Anakin did.  It was refreshing.  This was how life was supposed to be, he was supposed to be happy with his best friend.  She made him feel like everything was alright, even if only temporarily.


	12. Part Twelve

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my loves! Update on my life? I have one more day of school left which consist of two more exams! I'm also on the sixth book of Harry Potter and I'm in love with it, needless to say? Updates will come a lot more consistently as soon as schools out (and I finish the Harry Potter series lol) Anyway this chapter is a shitstorm so be prepared.

“Are you sure?  Are you one hundred percent positive that you don’t want me to only spend time with you for the rest of the day?  I can cancel.  I can tell Jaime to fuck off because I’m with you - really, it’s absolutely no big deal at all.”

“Anakin, it almost sounds like you want me to say I don’t want you to go swimming with Jaime.  I really don’t mind.  I’ll need to start getting ready for dinner soon, anyway.”

Padme and Anakin walked side by side, the sun high in the sky.  Padme would only be here for the day and it had been a couple hours since they talked about everything in the morning.  Anakin noted that she had snapped out of her emotional state rather quickly but refused to be fooled by her act.  They both knew things were changing majorly.

“I just-,”  Anakin couldn’t finish his thought because Jaime approached them a moment later.  His tanned skin glistened with sweat, undoubtedly he had come from a workout.

“Sorry, I don’t mean to interrupt,” Jaime said politely with a charming smile.  Padme returned the smile, Anakin tried to.  “I’m Jaime.”  He lightly grabbed Padme’s hand and kissed the top of it.  _ (“Charming fucker,”  _ Anakin thought).  “And you are?”

“Padme Amidala,” she giggled.  “I’m a friend of Anakin’s.”

“Best friend,” Anakin corrected sourly.  He didn’t have many friends and Padme was definitely the most important - he wanted everyone to know that.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Padme.  I’m a friend of Anakin’s, as well.”  Jaime stumbled over the word friend and it was very obvious to why.  His annoyance grew rather quickly with every moment Jaime stood in front of them.

“I’ve heard plenty about you,” Padme responded and Anakin internally groaned because that was the last thing he wanted her to tell him.

“Oh, really?”  His eyes twinkled in Anakin’s direction.  “Anakin never came off of the type to talk about his feelings.”

“I’m standing right here,” Anakin announced.  Jaime looked taken aback for a quick moment but recovered soon after.  “And it was only a brief mention.  Very brief.”

“Right, well, I was wondering if you were still up for that swim?  The water is wonderful.  Of course, that’s if Miss Amidala doesn’t mind me stealing you for an hour before dinner?”

“I do not mind one bit.  I was actually hoping to get cleaned up for dinner tonight.  There’s been something special arranged for Anakin and I.”

Anakin coughed, “There is?”

“It was supposed to be a surprise,” Padme confessed.  “Ahsoka and Rex arrived back this morning.  They’ve been resting.  I suggested a private meal with you, Ahsoka, Rex, Commander Kenobi and I.”

“Commander Kenobi?”

Padme smiled a mischievous smile and bid her farewell before leaving Anakin and Jaime alone. 

“Come here, I wanna show you something.”  Before Anakin could answer, Jaime was pulling on his arm and dragging him across campus, off trail, and into the forest.  They walked for a little bit, in the opposite direction of the lake, Anakin noticed, and came to an area where the trees were thick.  There was no sign of life besides them.

“Do you remember this place?”

They were close together and Anakin was leaning up against a tree while Jaime was leaning close to him.  His hand was pressing lightly against his abdomen and he could feel his breath against his skin.

“Should I?”

“Maybe this will jog your memory - the bonfire.”  It came back to him suddenly, it was when he had the realization that this was the place him and Jaime came the night of the bonfire.  How had Jaime even remembered where they stumbled to in the woods?

Jaime recognized that Anakin knew the place.  He leaned in and kissed him passionately, his hands gripping the back of Anakin’s neck to pull him closer.  His tongue found his way into Anakin’s mouth to which he allowed it to explore.

To Anakin, Jaime had become familiar territory.  After two weeks of several hook ups, Anakin recognized what he liked.  Quickly, Jaime’s sweaty t-shirt was pulled over his head, breaking their lips for a second.

Anakin’s heart raced.  Obi-Wan’s lips molded into his.  Obi-Wan’s mouth tasted sweet and his body felt like perfection to his fingertips.  He loved the way Obi-Wan’s scruff scratched his clean shaven face and the way Obi-Wan kept tugged on his hair.

He didn't want it to stop.  He wanted more of Obi-Wan, he wanted every part of him.  He pulled him in as close as possible, the kiss growing more sloppy and desperate.  Anakin’s hands fumbled with Obi-Wan’s belt, melting into the sweet bliss of the moment.

“God, you’re so fucking hot.”

It hit Anakin like a brick wall.

It wasn't Obi-Wan’s voice.

It was Jaime’s.

He had imagined it all for a couple seconds.

“Whoa, hey, everything okay?” Anakin had retreated from the kiss without even knowing it.  He blinked several times, trying to register that it was in fact Jaime in front of him and not Obi-Wan.

His heart thudded in his chest louder and louder, ringing in his ears.  “Yeah,” he croaked out, “Yeah.”  Quickly, he grabbed Jaime and pulled him back into him again, kissing away the thoughts of Obi-Wan, trying to burn the image out of his brain.

Jaime didn't question the strange pause.  He was used to it by now.

 

Two hours later, Anakin had showered the sweat and dirt off of him, sprayed on some cologne, and dressed in the nicest clothes he had.  Padme had left a note on his desk telling him that this would be a formal dinner provided by the camp to celebrate his one month there.  Anakin didn't feel like it was much of a celebration and he didn't really need another reason for people to treat him different.  It was a reminder that he was the Prince, regardless if he didn't feel like it so far away from the palace.

He was, however, excited to see Rex and Ahsoka.  Padme had also written on the note to act surprised about their appearance at the dinner.  He did appreciate that she had given him a heads up about their appearance because surprises were not his favorite thing in the world.

Then there was seeing Obi-Wan.  Anakin realized after hooking up with Jaime earlier in the day, that he felt unbelievably dirty and empty.  He wasn't sure what Jaime felt for him - if it was strictly physical or more, but Anakin was using Jaime to get rid of his unhealthy feelings for Obi-Wan.  At first it had worked, slightly, but now he was fantasizing about his commander while he was with Jaime.

It had never happened before.

Anakin’s feelings were eating him alive and the only way he could describe what it made him feel was empty.

He had no expertise in the field of relationships - he had never even been on a proper date unless making out with cute boys in secret palace rooms counted.  Anakin had never let himself feel this much before, especially for someone who could never feel the same about him back.

Coming his fingers through his hair once more, he silenced his thoughts, pushing them to the darkest corner of his mind.

 

***

 

The dinner was held at the main hall in a special room Anakin had never seen before.  When he walked in all eyes were on him.  Padme had changed her lilac gown into a dark purple one which was meant for a more formal occasion.  Ahsoka came into his view next but he hardly had time to process what she looked like because one minute she was across the room and next, she was sprinting into his arms. 

Rex followed and gave Anakin a hug, as well.  He hadn't known them for that long, but he knew that their friendship meant the world to him.

“Welcome back,” he greeted with a bright smile.

Ahsoka had her cornrowed hair pulled back into a ponytail.  She wore a black skirt with a matching brown tank top.  Her eye looked like it had some faded bruising and overall, both her and Rex looked tired.

“It's good to be back,” Rex confessed.  He looked slick with a classic suit and tie.

“You look like you have some things to fill us in on,” Ahsoka said in a hushed voice. 

“I'll share when you share.”

Anakin skimmed the room once more and noticed that there was one person missing; Obi-Wan.  They all started taking their seats, Anakin sitting with Padme on his right and Ahsoka on his left.  Rex sat across from Ahsoka and next to Rex was an empty seat.

“I hope I'm not too late.” The voice traveled through the room and Anakin’s body had an instant reaction to it.  He wondered if everyone had such harsh side-effects from Obi-Wan Kenobi.  

Obi-Wan stepped into the room, adjusting his bow-tie with a dashing smile on his face.  His hair was perfectly styled and his beard cleanly trimmed.  Anakin could feel his skin prickle uncomfortably.  He couldn't look him in the eyes, however, with the memory of what happened earlier still fresh.

“Ahsoka, Rex, it’s very nice to see you two again.”  He sat down in the seat next to Rex, directly across from Anakin.

“Commander Kenobi, I don't recall ever seeing you look so cleaned up,” Rex chuckled.

“You do, you look very handsome,” Ahsoka added.

“Oh stop, you’re flattering me,” Obi-Wan dramatically gushed.  He turned his head and looked directly at Anakin across the table.  “Evening Anakin, long time no see?”  His eyes twinkled and Anakin’s inside flipped.  Obi-Wan’s voice was light and friendly, one he still hadn’t grown accustomed to hearing.

“I know,” Anakin carefully played along, “It’s felt like a lifetime.”  He was pushing the boundaries, wondering if he would trigger Obi-Wan to shut down and put on his professional front.  To his surprise, Obi-Wan chuckled which told him they were in a safe environment.

“Sounds like you missed me?”

“My heart longed to be united with you again,” Anakin professed equally as dramatic.  The irony of the situation was that despite how sarcastic he sounded, his words held truth.

“There’s no need to suffer any longer, for I am here.”  Everyone laughed, including Anakin and Obi-Wan, perhaps even the loudest.  It may have been the first time each other could speak freely to one in another in the presence of other people.  Out of the corner of his eye, Anakin could see Padme beaming and he wondered how he ended up with such an amazing friend.

“Oi, as entertaining as your guys’ reunitation speech was, I’m starving and I didn’t put on a skirt to not be fed by some quality food,” Ahsoka announced.  Rex nodded his head in agreement.

Padme replied, “The King and Queen sent two of their best chefs to prepare Anakin’s birthday dinner.  You guys don’t need to worry about food.”

“Birthday?” Ahsoka, Rex, and Obi-Wan asked at the same time.

It had dawned to Anakin that spending a month at Lake Cascada meant that it was July, meaning this was the month he was born.  His face flushed, his birthday being the last, least important thing on his mind.

“You told me you were allowed to visit because of everything that happened?  And that this dinner was-,”

“Of course, Ani.  But Shmi,  _ Queen _ Shmi,” Padme quickly corrected herself, “Also thought that you deserved to have your birthday celebrated even though it’s two weeks away.  She sent you a present which I’ll give you tonight-,”

“Wait,” Anakin cut her off rather aggressively.  The playful chatter fell silent.  “She can sent two chefs to make me a birthday dinner but she can’t respond to a single letter?  I’ve sent her three.”

Padme’s face flushed.  She didn’t know that a birthday dinner could possibly trigger this much hostility in Anakin.  She waited for someone else to speak up, the other three people at the table knowing the information that she knew - the information she had kept from Anakin specifically.  No one did.

“Anakin, I was going to tell you tonight when I gave you your present-,”

“Tell me  _ what _ , Padme?”

Anakin’s head pounded.  He had hardly thought about his mother the past week, he missed her, yes, but he didn’t constantly think about missing her.  And sure, he wrote the letters late at night and when he mailed them, didn’t think much of them.  But Padme bringing up his mother had reminded him that she hadn’t responded to any of the letters.  He thought that maybe they hadn’t reached her yet, but he now knew that was near impossible.

He didn’t even feel bad about raising his voice at Padme or causing a scene at the dinner.  They had only all been sitting there for seven minutes and everything started off better than expected and now he felt like the room was crushing in on him.

“She’s-,” Padme’s voice cracked.  “She’s dead.  The person who tried to assassinate me got to her- she - I’m so sorry.”  Tears rolled down her face. 

Anakin stood up so fast his chair fell over with a loud  _ clank. _  “My mother, she’s...no, NO. _ ” _  It couldn’t be true, it couldn’t.  His mind was entering panic mode.  He looked over at Ahsoka, Rex, and Obi-Wan.  They all looked defeated, confirming what Padme had said wasn’t a sick joke..  His eyes locked onto Obi-Wan’s once more, his heart racing fast enough that he thought his ribcage was going to break.  “You knew?” his voice wasn’t as bitter this time, more hurt.  Obi-Wan didn’t answer, he simply looked down at his plate.  “You KNEW?” He repeated much louder this time.

“It was advised that we didn’t tell you until Padme arrived.  I found out yesterday,” Obi-Wan responded sadly.

Anakin felt his heart shatter.  “YOU HAD PLENTY OF TIME TO TELL ME!” Anakin yelled, his eyes burning with tears he wouldn’t let fall.  Obi-Wan knew exactly what he was talking about.  “AND YOU DIDN’T!  YOU DIDN’T TELL ME!” he stopped himself, trying to control his breathing.  Padme’s eyes glistened with tears and Obi-Wan’s with remorse.

He ran both hands through his hair, his mind trying to comprehend everything he had discovered today.  Everything came rushing back to him, Padme had looked so sad today and he thought it was because of everything with the possibility of war.  But it explained everything - why Padme could visit.  Why Ahsoka hugged him so tight when he first came, why Obi-Wan was distraught this morning when he saw him.  Everything made crystal clear sense and no one told him.

Padme placed her hand on his arm, tears rolling down her cheeks.  “I’m so sorry, Ani, I’m so sorry.  I wanted you to enjoy the dinner, I-,”

He yanked his arm away from her.  “Go,” he growled.  Deep down it he knew it wasn’t her fault for any of this to happen.  He knew it was wrong to take his anger out on her but he couldn’t help it.  It was the worst thing he had ever felt.  He felt like the entire world was exploding around him.  “GO!”  This time he screamed at everyone.  Ahsoka and Rex both looked at eachother and then Obi-Wan he nodded his head subtly at them.  They stood up and left the room.  Padme hesitated but decided not to press her luck, she followed them out the door silently crying to herself.

Obi-Wan stood up and moved away from the table near the wall.  Guilt flooded every big of his blood, but he refused to leave Anakin alone.  He knew Anakin should have been told right away and that he should have been sent him to stay at the palace but the King said that Anakin could only return for the funeral.  

“Do I need to repeat myself?” Anakin sneered.  He hadn’t let the tears fall yet,  “DO I?” He picked on the chair Padme had been sitting in and threw it across the room with such strength that when it hit the wall, it broke.  Obi-Wan didn’t flinch.

Anakin continued to break things out of his hurt and rage.  He threw the chairs he could get his hands on, destroying things like a mad mad.  Obi-Wan didn’t try to stop him, he simply watched and let him.  Next came the glass plates.  They shattered with every ounce of his strength. When he smashed one of the glasses with his hand, it cut it open with a sharp pain.

Obi-Wan noticed and this is where he drew the line.  Anakin hardly slowed even as Obi-Wan rushed towards him and wrapped his arms around him from behind.

“Let me go,” Anakin thrashed.  His strength was almost enough to match Obi-Wan’s.

“Anakin, you’re bleeding.  Hurting yourself isn’t going to change anything.”  The weight of Obi-Wan’s arms around him was too much, Anakin couldn’t break free.  Instead, he fell to his knees, feeling like a three year old as wet tears began to fall down his cheeks.

Obi-Wan didn’t let go.  He held Anakin in his arms with the remaining rubble surrounding him.

“She can’t be gone,” he sobbed quietly, “Sh-she can’t.”

Obi-Wan pulled him in tighter.  They had broken Anakin without even trying.  Nothing would ever be the same.  He couldn’t find the right words to say anything so he let Anakin cry in his arms.

Tomorrow, he knew, that the entire empire of Elodor would mourn the Queen’s loss and then the next day, a war would star.  A war no one was prepared to fight.

 


End file.
